"Spinster" - by Sylvia Plath

Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds' irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.

By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.

How she longed for winter then! --
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.

But here -- a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley --
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.

And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.

do you sense the bitterness in the poem?

spin·ster
Pronunciation: 'spin(t)-st&r
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : a woman whose occupation is to spin
2 a archaic : an unmarried woman of gentle family b : an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying
3 : a woman who seems unlikely to marry

went to the lawyer's the other day to sign something...it read...CONNIE YUEN SPINSTER.....SPINSTER SPINSTER.....what the heck!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!...SPINSTER
.....i am bitter, very very bitter....

coming back to toronto, that whole SARS things is actually kinda scary...getting kinda paranoid.
got into the elevator yesterday and some chinese guys was standing real close and almost breathing on me, and if i had a surgical mask on me i probably would have put it on.

my mom's trying to ration the chinese food stock we have at home since she refuses to go anywhere chinese. she ran out of rice last week and was forced to go buy rice at lowblaws, she was not pleased with the quality...funny how in london i have more authentic chinese food than she does here.

oh and that whole stay away from large groups of chinese people deal...since that's exactly what chinese churches are, my mom was a little concerned about our going this week.
they made an announcement about it today in service, during which someone started coughing. being paranoid as i am, i immediately looked around to locate the source...and hahahahaha....it came from like the only white guy in our church. just ever so slightly ironic

went to the mall today...yes the mall...again.....didn't find a dress for the banquet, this season everything still has ruffles on it (yeck)and i think it's about time i hit the treadmills and ab workouts again....but besides all that, i couldn't help but notice the number of couples shopping together...in female clothing stores.
i think that guys should be sensitive and caring and all that at times. but however in love you are, following a girl's every step like a dog through Jacob and La Senza just seems a little...uh...whipped? i have absolutely no respect for that.

weather report for today:
mainly cloudy, with light winds...and expected popcorn showers in the chem eng lab

today's advice:
do not try to pneumatically transport popcorn

ah...the sun is shining outside and the weather is nice...i feel the sudden strong urge to go to the mall and drool over that perfect spring wardrobe that i will never ever be able to afford

....i finally reallize why sane people don't stay awake for 64 consecutive hours...i think my body is slowly eating away at itself.

stupid 317...never ever ever again...

Situation: HUGE research/design project due monday...
Problem: Me not done...

a girl in my class got a two week extension by claiming "extreme emotional distress" after a messy break-up situation last week
.
well my computer just decided to freeze on me turning my past 2 hours of work into nothingness...wonder if "extreme psychotic rage" would be a valid reason for an extension...

grrrrrr...stupid noncolorfast dyes...had two new dish towels, one red and one green that i washed with the old ones...
the red one dyed everything else pink (not particularly fond of the color) and the green gave off a more yellowish tone that looks like someone used the towels to mop up pee (eloquently put, i know)...
i guess the only solution is some big time bleaching...or i guess i could take gabe's lead and go monochromatic...
......hm....nah!

well if you've been reading my guestbook and wondering about this whole sweeny todd/lovett thing, i have two things to say to you
1) darn you for not signing it
2) ........MEATPIES!

I know this blog leads you to think otherwise, but we do other things here besides stuffing ourselves silly...really we do...

let me think.....
hm....

......no wait....i lied......

Don’t laugh, but I am going to attempt the sleep early these next couple weeks…the new ACF exec’s been having 7am prayer meetings everyday and 3 ½ hours of sleep really is not enough to survive on.
I know daily 7am prayer meetings…it’s some kinda insanity (in a really good way =P).

It’s unbelievable how much I see these people…it’s more than I see…well…anyone. We meet to pray mornings, and we meet to have planning meetings on Sundays, where we plan for more things that we’ll have to meet to plan. YEAH!

So speaking of planning, our first task is to put together the year-end banquet…we found a nice little restaurant called Bill Bentley’s, and they have a nice little banquet hall that we get to use for our semi-formal at an affordable price…and guess what…it’s a BUFFET!!!!! To name a few of the things on the menu: unlimited roast beef, roast chicken, beef lasagna, potatoes, and apple pie…learning from last year’s mistakes, I say no tight little black dress this year…

You think after all the eating I’ve been doing I’d learn to stay away from all-you-can-eat places…but but but……it’s all you can eat!!!

So yeah there’s this place here in London (and yes we do have places to eat in London) called Archie’s and apparently on Mondays, they have all you can eat fish and chips…imagine…unlimited amounts of crispy, batter fried fish with tasty tarter sauce and all the fries you can possible stuff into your mouth…mmm!

Whenever anyone comes to visit me, there is always one question that they ask… “What’s that noise?” they could be referring to one or more of the following:
1) the constant humming that resonates from my ceiling (I live next to the elevator on the top floor of my building so I’d like to think that it’s the motor rather than the danger that my ceiling is gonna explode and collapse on me in my sleep)
2) the constant beeping that is my out of battery smoke detector (you think if it’s out of batteries it’d eventually beep itself out, but it’s been going on for months now),
3) the sound of the train coming by from the tracks across the parking lot.

I was talking on the phone yesterday, and during our conversation, I turned down my music, and he’s like…whoa, what’s that noise, do you live near heavy machinery or something?
Brian says it's like I'm living on the Enterprise...constant humming and beeping...and sometimes when i forget that i'm baking and things burn, the alarm goes off too

You’d think with all that noise around me I’d go crazy (I know I know i'm crazy as is), but my response to the question is usually…Huh? Noise? What noise? I never really thought it was that bad, I don’t even notice it most days, but apparently it is and I’m just going deaf.

exam on tuesday, but i think grease has blocked off blood flow to my brain...

I had thought the world had given up on me and my blog.
So…what’s new with Connie? Well reading week is over, so I’m back at school to be stressed, depressed and without a life…so not that much.
However, during those few days that I spent away from this gloomy place, I did do something I’ve been wanting to for years…

…unlimited kimchi, pickled turnips…and MEAT!!! For the first time in my life I finally experienced what they call Korean Barbeque…and it’s so gross it’s amazing…grilled beef by the bowlful. I think I ate enough to feed me, and some small country for the next month. After which of course we proceeded to go for dessert.

Other eating exploits in Toronto include pigging out at Congee Wong, Milestones and eating a pot of my mom’s “gnou lam”.
And to keep to the spirit of gluttony after returning to London, we went for a pizza buffet today after church…Just when I think I’ve passed my limit and finally eaten too much, I go out and eat some more.