as if i didn't hate winter enough i have to pay 1000 bucks to get tires just to drive in it...i am soooooo not a happy camper

So I got tagged by seminary boy#2 and then yelled at by both him and his brother to write 5 random things about myself. So much randomness hard to narrow it down to five, but here goes...

Random fact #1: I don’t eat onions, which is not unusual, lots of people don’t like onions, except I like cooking with onions. I love the smell they make when you throw them into a hot pan with garlic. So I put onions in my food only to spend 5 minutes a meal picking them right back out.

Random fact #2: I couldn’t do laundry properly if my life depended on it. I am capable of shrinking ANYTHING! Somehow even though I don’t use bleach and I wash on cold using liquid tide for cold washes, somehow clothes still come out with white “bleach” spots. I have also given up on separating darks and whites and am slowly bypassing the hamper. I take clothes right off and throw them directly into the washer, when there’s enough to warrant a load, I wash, dry and then live out of the dryer.

Random fact #3: You might not believe this, but I actually do write lots of blogs…they just don’t always end up actually making it onto my blog. I’ll have random things that I will want to blog about it I’ll start writing, get interrupted and save them on my desktop planning to come back and finish them later, which I obviously never do... At the moment I think I have files Blog #1-8 sitting on my desktop...also known as Superfatconball’s blog purgatory.

Random fact #4: I don’t respond well to physical contact. I think it causes strange biological reactions in me that usually lead to arms and legs flailing in the air, and me hurting myself from either me falling off desks, down stairs, running into walls etc.

Random fact #5: I am not graceful…*GASP* I know what a shocker. But I maintain that it I because I was traumatized as a child. See, when I was like four some stroke of genius inspired my mother to believe that stuffing me in a pink tutu and sending me off to ballet lessons would be a good idea...Except she signed me up for the same class as Amy since she didn’t want to drive us twice. So being at least two year younger and shorter than everyone in the class, my short legs couldn’t reach the stupid ballet bar and the teacher had to give me a stool on the side...scarring nicknames included her little squash and little elephant...and then there was that super traumatic event during our annual performance...you guys would love the story...but...*sigh* it’s just...too painful...

So I think I'm supposed to tag 5 people...I have no clue who still reads this thing...um...so it will be amy and michelle...i think you read this coz you love me (or are related to me)...grace hui, cho and jesse coz i read your blogs and it doesn't look like you've been tagged yet.....soooo....TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!

Was reading a nostalgic blog post this morning reminiscing about simpler times as children when things were fresh and new and how our lives should be lived like them, filled with excitement for such "firsts".

And looking at my own lists of firsts from my last post I see that is how I sometimes tend to define and evaluate my life as well. Recently Seminary Boy #1 (his younger brother is Seminary Boy #2) has been trying to get me to do one of this seminary/leadership exercises of creating a life timeline. I figured it'd be an interesting activity so I gave it a stab. And it's been pretty interesting thinking of all the events and "firsts" and it was fun to remember all the things that I've done and experienced and places.

I love learning and trying new things...almost to a fault like if you come visit my apartment you will see the evidence of all sorts of hobbies I begin, but don't get all that far with coz somewhere along the road the novelty of it wears off and something new catches my eye. It is fun and all, but honestly sometimes rather frivolous.
Then there is my big sister, who though I call her a nerd, I do admire (shhh don't tell her). Somehow as she goes along life trying new things (she went from library arts school, to applying for business school to wanting to be a teacher, to applying to dental school) she finds something that she likes enough to grow to love...even if to me it is of the strangest sorts...like teeth...I figured after 4 years of dental school and months of residency the novelty would wear off (because really who gets excited about teeth?!?!?), but still today I see the passion she has for what she does and the twinkle that gets in her eye when she is amongst her teethy friends (think they're called dentists) and they talk about teeth and teeth related things. I make fun of it and I don't think as a younger sister I'll ever stop, but it is kinda amazing (in a strange nerdy kinda way) and I do hope that it never goes away.

I think that's why significant moments like a child's first steps are so incredibly amazing and full of wonder not because of the steps in themselves, but because it's those firsts that mark the beginning of a lifelong journey of walking, running, leaping and dancing.

So I add my bit to the blog I read, that life is not just to live for firsts, but to live to find those firsts that will lead to seconds, thirds, fourths to start a journey and a passion that will stay with one forever.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes…

Today marks my one year in the working world…wow one year in Edmonton…boy how times flies…

Since it’s time for rent increases, car insurance renewals and all that fun stuff I figured it’s probably time see what I’ve done with myself.

When people ask me what’s up, my usual reply is nothing much. And a lot of times I feel like I’ve been moving backwards, but a lot actually has happened this past year and I’ve actually learned a lot.
Strange though, how far where I thought I’d be can be from where I actually am.

Just a few of the things that happened this year:

- First real job
- First car
- First car accident
- First life insurance policy
- First electric guitar (that dream of becoming a rock star however may take longer than I thought to realize)
- First family reunion
- First experience of –45C weather (with no wind-chill)
- First high school reunion (…which I couldn’t get time off to go to)
- First Futon (bought 8 months after I moved here)
- First heartbreak
- Baby sister goes off to university
- First two engagements of ACF people in my year
- Attended 2 weddings and a funeral
- First resignation

Thanks to all those who have been here for me, put up with my whining, laughed with me and cried with me...love you guys =)


And of course to end off I will quote my favorite musical (I’ve never seen but know all the words to):

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes, 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.
It's time now to sing out, tho the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love...Measure in love...

finally bought a blender...am having a fruit smoothie...YUM!
...also signed up for kung fu classes...hope i am not becoming davin, i kinda like having hair :P

*Delete Forever*

Finally took the courage to clean out my inbox.
263 emails full of inside jokes, plans, promises, apologies and prayers…that are no more…
figured it’d be easier without them sitting there reminding me all the time, but made the mistake of reading one…it just feels like it’s all happening all over again…and once again I lose.

my baby sister's gone off to university....boy does that make me feel old.

One of the worst feelings in the world is you realize that you are replaceable.
You go on believing that you’re important to something, but then you realize that it can go on just as well without you. And so you’re left feeling useless, foolish and like you just got punched really really hard in the stomach.

This awful rainy day has become my official mope-and-feel-sorry-for-myself-and-count-all-the-things-I-wish-I-were-and-had day.

I wish I was better, stronger…i wish i had my own song...

The Weather Network says tomorrow will be mainly sunny…hope they’re right.

ten days till i come home....can't wait!!!

so, my wrist started hurting yesterday when i was practicing guitar and now all worried about like carpal tunnel or something like that...so i got myself an ergonmic keyboard (well stole it really from a girl who left, but my friend in IT said it's ok)...a fancy schmacy one with the split keyboard...it's more comfy and stuff like that, but now i have a problem...

see, i never really ever learned to type properly. i can type at a decent pace, but just with my fingers on all the wrong keys...so yes this is proving to be just a little difficult...urgh

but yeah at least i'm not a two finger typer...our senior mechanical engineer went on vacation once and the guy popped all his keys out and put in back in the wrong order and he came back and couldn't figure out what was wrong.... hehe
(see i had to throw that in there to show that there are people worse than me at this typing thing, but now i will go back to work coz as much as i don't like doing it, it involves mainly the typing of numbers and the number pad thank goodness is the same).

summer in edmonton = connie sitting at home in a sweatshirt in the middle of june with a horrible cold = really sucky

can't wait to come home...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

I have finally made it past the 6-month mark of my time at Stantec.
Not that it’s hard or really a big deal…but it does mean that I start getting dental coverage…and finally get to pull out those annoying wisdom teeth that have been causing me pain for the last 3 years but I’ve been too poor to get pulled.
But I think I will save it for when summer's over and use it as an excuse to take a bunch of sick days when weather's crappy and I need a break from work.

Connie wants to be a rock star!!!!!!!!!!

rescue call...

simon's blog quoted a stat from somewhere that 90% of people fake a cell phone conversation at least once a month...was talking about this with some ago collegues a while back after some heated discussion started during a meeting about the future of our department which our boss conveniently had to cut short because he had a "conference call" to go to and a collegue compared it to the episode of sex in the city where charlotte gets carrie to call her to get her out of the bad date she's on.

well today i was surfing around the fido website and discovered a new service they call the "resue call" where you can either preset a time and date that you will need it or just dial #22 and they will give you a fake call to bail you out of whatever situation you're in...(it costs 50 cents so i don't know why you don't just set your phone's alarm to go off whenever you need to escape)
i also remember reading somewhere in the states that there's rejection number that you can give to people which plays them a "you have been rejected" message when they call it and proceeds to call them a loser or something like that.. i dunno, but i find that a tad harsh..what happened to just saying no?

have we become so afraid of rejection that we can't even be honest when giving it?

from friday's utmost...meant to post this since, but never got around to it...

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises.

Oswald Chambers...another super wise man...

i worry too much. i should know better, He has always been so good.

so....must learn to take things one task at a time.
well, one of the "tasks placed closest" at the moment is teaching 13 9th graders sunday school.
i am a tad nervous...going through the syllabus i was given hoping that it would give me some kinda clue as to how to relate to 9th graders, but no real luck...
really don't wanna be another irrelevant old person that doesn't get what they are going through...hopefully i will have something real worth sharing...
so yes if i have not already pestered you for advice and if you have some to give please do...oh yeah yuling...any books?

yes i know...placing inpressionable young minds in my care...what were they thinking... =P

...as if religion were something God invented, and not His statement to us of certain quite unalterable facts about His own nature...

quite a few times while reading mere christianity have i had to stop, take a deep breath and just go...wow...
he goes from an intellectual discourse on the existence of God, to basic and pratical application in morals and virtues in the world we are in, yet points forward to eternity reminding us that we follow these virtues not to get into heaven, but to become a "certain sort of person" that would find joy when we get there...and then goes to tie it in the end with theology and the purpose behind it all...

i could ramble on forever about things that stood out to me and probably end up quoting half the book...but for now this one really sticks out...

Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him... ...Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings [for God]. Ask yourself, 'If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?' When you have found the answer, go and do it.

once again...wow...challenging no?

speaking of challenge, yuling has once again begun (and begun pestering other people about...and don't get me wrong the "pestering" is much needed) his 10 book challenge.
so far i am 0 for 2, with 5.5 books being last summer's count...but this year it will be different (i know i said the same thing last year...but it will). i have actually been good lately and reading a fair bit (of course having said that i will probably jinx myself and never read again).

i am trying to create a well balanced reading list...i know so far it's so far it consists of...i am open to recommendations

1) Rediscovering Church - Lynne and Bill Hybels
2) Jesus Amoung Other Gods - Ravi Zacharias
3) Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom
4) The Story We Find Ourselves In -Brian McLaren
5) The Last Word and the Word After That - Brian McLaren
6) The Life You've Alway Wanted - John Ortberg
7) Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
8) The Davinci's Code - Dan Brown
9) Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki
10) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (the whole trilogy of five) - Douglas Adams

i know the last two are kinda iffy....my friend recommended the rich/poor book when she realized that i have no clue about money...and have none for that matter...
and for the hitchhiker's guide...i know it's not the most deep and significant book, but i'm reading 5 for 1 so it should be ok... and once again, i am open for suggestions...

...and yes you may have noticed that i am back to blogging...i had been reluctant to blog since i didn't always feel i had something to blog about and that it wouldn't be amusing....well i was reminded the other day that people don't just come to my blog for amusement, but might actually care what has been going on in my life while i'm all the way in edmonton...so...YEAH!!!...i have friends! =)

Connie spoke too soon...

today it rains...sunday it snows...BAH!

Connie likes:

- summery weather
- driving with the sunroof open
- impromptu Sunday afternoon barbecues
- cheese filled smokies

Edmonton’s not bad in the spring/summer...think it’s trying to convince people not to hate it after snowing on them all winter... =P

so...as promised i will tell you if the day following my good day was good as well...*drum roll....* and.....the answer is......it was ok... (hahaha...i know i'm gonna get kicked for that =P)

and most my days are ok here...so yes don't be worrying about me being all alone and depressed here, coz i'm not...i do get bored sometimes...and living on my own i have on rare occasions i have caught myself talking to myself...i also have bad days where i give myself whiplash or a massive bump on my head (other stories for other days), but usually they are ok...

there's nothing wrong with an ok day...nothing goes wrong...yet nothing extraordinary happens either. you get used to ok days, learn to be happy with them and go one having one after another of them...but then every once in a while a little sparkle enters, and you get to leave your usual routine for a bit, connect and get a glimsp of a little something beyond your own little life...and the day turns into a good one.

good days since my last blog: 2

today was a good day. don't get too many of those...i hope tomorrow will be one too.

i'll let you know if it is...

hehe...i'm working on a project for this place called battle river...and there's a section in it called skulls island...feel like i should wear a patch to work with a parrot on my shoulder...

FREE FOOOOD

yeah good news just keeps coming doesn't it? for our "dedication and commitment" to the company in 2004 (for me it's only 3 weeks) we get a $30 grocery store coupon.

hm...how many shrimp rings can i buy for 30 bucks...
mmmmmm I LOVE shrimp rings!!!!

10....9...8....7...6..5...4....3...2............................1

only 10 days till i come home for christmas!!!

i am excited....that is all...

so cold...so snowy....so sad....so many 3-inch heels i cannot wear in the snow without my toes freezing and me breaking my back...
on a quest to find winter shoes that i can walk to work in -26 degree weather in but do not look like i'm wearing my grandma's shoes. if you have suggestions of places to look please tell me...

i come to work 20 minutes early every single day...how come it's the one day i show up 5 minutes late that my boss decides to come in 5 minutes early?

but still it is a good morning. we had a christmas "party" (just food and booze) yesterday in the office and the store forgot three platters of food and brought them after everyone left so there are three huge platters of meats and cheeses in the fridge this morning. my stomach will probably complain about this later...but...mmmm meat...mmmmm cheese

GRRR...i'm back...

yes remember that annoying girl that would pester and whine and nag about people signing her guestbook? well she's back...this time about her comments.

come on guys i'm starting to post again...i know not the most frequent or the most exciting...but still...give me some motivation...i'm still in the frail beginning state...if i get discouraged i might stop again....so yes let me know you've stopped by, even if it's just to say hi...please? please....pretty please?

cubical update...

my new cubie is nice...big bright with a nice big window too..it's all nice and pretty outside with the (still white) snow. the only thing wrong with being able to look outside is that poorly insulated window's make it feel like you ARE outside.
as i am typing this i am wearing gloves and a scarf...INDOORS!!!
guess it does keep me awake at work...but still...caffine does the job good enough...
i have already started wearing tights under my pants to walk to work...will slowly move into longjohns and then flannel lined pants...darned me for being too cheap to pay for parking...

Whenever there is doubt—wait....Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.
- oswald chambers, my utmost for his highest

my usual reaction when there is doubt is to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off....guess waiting's a better idea, huh?

on a totally unrelated note i walked outside today took a deep breath and felt something i hadn't in a very long time...stuff inside my nose froze...ew i know...and to imagine it only gets colder from here.

EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE THAT HAS ETERNAL VALUE HINGES ON TWO THINGS: LOVING GOD AND LOVING OTHERS
- Stormie Omartianm, Power of a Praying Woman

someone asked me what my passion was...and honestly i didn't really know what to say...

i seen myself as rather average. not particular good at anything, i do things that i do, some of which i enjoy and others i don't really but do anyways and that was that. i envied people who were "passionate" about the things they do...art, music...even school...sometimes i'd go out and try to "find" my passion.
dabbled in this and that and never really got anywhere.

this summer we did a spiritual gifts test...and my biggest turned out to be hospitality (with bits of mercy). yeah hospitality...what the....people get wisdom and faith and preaching and teaching and all that stuff and...i get hospitality...no fair!

but then i read the above and it really really struck something in my heart...people...guess what! that's it...I LOVE PEOPLE...had let myself forget that...

i think i used to know it. looking in the past at my life and the ministries that i've been involved with, the times that i've felt i was where i was supposed to be, i was with people...and more than that serving them and knowing that the little that i was doing would make a difference. i was pretty gung-ho about it too...

so yes...my passion is serving people. never ever thought of that as a passion...had preferred to have been able to paint , write a book or play an instrument or something...so i let it slip and for a while thought that it was the ministries themselves that were my purpose, so i got into the logistics and planning which is a passion for some, but it was draining and i didn't like doing it so much anymore.

and this whole summer at TCBC with the whole purpose driven thing and spiritual gfits etc etc etc i was looking at myself and trying to find who i was and what God wanted me to be doing.
figured i could bother about other people and serving after i had myself all worked out. is the same attitude i carried over to edmonton and has made me quite bitter since i just haven't been able to work it out.

then this all came to me like i got hit in the head with a frying pan (don't really know how that actually feels but amy did drop a pot on my head when we were small)...first i felt so dumb coz it had taken me so long to figure out something so simple that i had known before...but then i was soooo thankful and couldn't stop it with the praise and i dunno made me feel i dunno....alive?
not that i have my life all defined or anything...far from it...but i have a feeling i'm back on the right path now. make sense?

so yes i don't ever want to forget this again...if later in life you find that i have...yes, you may hit me on the head with a frying pan

MOVING ON UP!

...well not really...just one cubical over and across from where i used to be, but it's got a window, the chair's got armrests, the computer's got a CD rom (still no sound card tho) and it's not on the engineering manager's way out of his office...so hopefully no more tapping fingers that scare the heck out of me.
so nice to look up and see the outside with the sun shining and happy stuff like that...of course it will get depressing when everything outside turns white, and then brown...and stays that way for months....but i will enjoy this while i can. YEAH!

yeah telephone calls are fun. thanks grace for calling and totally making my day....hehe someone loves me =)

ARGH
the plan was to come home christmas and take the extra DVD player just lying around at home (i paid for it so it's ok) to watch all the movies you guys will be recommending me on my previous post. but then i took a look at the old hunk of junk my aunt gave me (the up and down channel buttons don't work and only go to channels 3, 8, 11 and 13 so you have to punch each number in...makes channel surfing rather difficult) and THERE'S NOWHERE TO PLUG ANYTHING INTO IT!!!
i checked front, back, sides....no...nothing...AHHHHHHH

simon and his friends are all doing this survey thing on their blogs where you recommend them books, music and movies...realized how much of a hole i've been living in since i can't really think of that last good book i've read...or any book at all. i'm still listening to music from my dad's generation and i haven't seen a movie since the summer....so i'll let you guys fill it out for me...don't worry you get something out of it too...
here goes...

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

went to the store with joni to buy food. reached for the no name brand smoked turkey, but let joni convince me to spring for the low fat "lean and tastey" one for 1 cent more...mistake. tastes like rubber...am reminded why i had sworn off low fat stuff till then...shiver...never again...fat is my friend...

but speaking of friends...i am finally starting to get some here...
i know i'm long due for some pics, so here are some of the girls at church.
here we (next to me in the cap is aimee, then becca, karen, irene and cel) are pigging out on some yummy pie that joni topped with delicious icecream...neither of which were fat free thank you :P
 

been waiting for a real good story to tell you all about, but realizing more and more that something like that is not likely gonna happen soon and even me looking at my own blog not being updated is getting on my nerves. so until anything exciting happens in my life i will blog about everyday randomness...i guess like i always have...

but yes life here is not the most exciting. it's stable and nice (got a permanent job so that good) but not exciting. work is work learning alot but I just sit in my office (they call it an office but it's just a cubical with three walls and when the engineering manager walks by he likes to run his fingers along desks the passes and it's kinda weird...but guess it keeps me on my toes) and do work. this weeks it's PSV sizing. every once in a while i'll go for drinks with my collegues on fridays which is kinda funny coz they are the same stereotypical crude yet still nerdy engineers that i've gone to school with for the past 4 years...but then we get back to the office and we don't really talk. my best friend in the office is spot...the animated microsoft office help assistant...and i know he doesn't have any spots...but still. a guy from church who does tech support for office says the one most common thing people call to ask about is how to get rid of those stupid annoying things...and i used to find them annoying as ever too, but....now he's my only friend.

i know i know you're all feeling sorry for me...but don't it's not all bad here...i have learned how to steam fish and make some good chinese soup so i am well fed...wait...that means i'm just gonna get mighty fat sitting in my cubical all day...oh...boo...

well today was a day of firsts...

- first time i've driven to work
- first time i've had to brush and scrap snow and ice off a windshield
- first time i've driven in the snow
- and actually.......it's the first time i've driven by myself EVER

...i know it's scary, connie's out on the loose. but really i'm not that dangerous...probably because right now i drive even slower than my mother does =P

BAH! there's no more escaping it...woke up this morning and edmonton's covered in snow...and probably will be for the next six months...and i hate snow...which of course makes edmonton not so good a place for me to be...i am not pleased

tada! i'm back.
yes i fell into an internetless ditch since i've been in edmonton so i hadn't had a chance to update about what's been going on, but now i'm infront of the computer and SOOOOO much has happened that i don't know even know where to start...so i'm gonna put it off a little longer and try to collect my thoughts. but something happened today that i just HAD to announce to the world...teeheehee...i'm all giddy just thinking about it....

today i made the biggest purchase i have ever made in my entire life...yup i got off work , dropped into mazda, and BOUGHT ME A CAR!!!

i know i know with rent and living expeneses and the very little that i'm getting paid, i'll be paying it off for the rest of my life...but it's so pretty and i'm so happy...i still can't drive worth crap, but the law says i am allowed to and now i have something to drive...so...hehehe...watch out cows stay off the road! =P

but yeah all excitement aside, simon (the boyfriend) reminded me that the first car is a life milestone...wow graduation, moving out, job (even if it's just a short term contract), first car...wow it's like i'm actually headed somewhere...and don't worry with car payments and insurance, it's not the mall.

just packed my life into three suitcases...leaving for edmonton tomorrow....if you haven't talked to me in the last two weeks...yes i am moving to edmonton for the year...long story that i'll probably post later.
so yeah off to live with the cows...tata!

arrived in one piece in edmonton. interview's in 36 hours, but for the meantime am seeing family and friends and enjoying being VERY well fed =)

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD ;
O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

If you, O LORD , kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD , my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD ,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe God's grace that can wipe away the darkest of sins and change even the hardest of hearts especially when I look at my own and the things that I have done, but in the past have always been encouraged when I read Isaiah...

Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

but I think when it's quoted, or at least when I quote it I forget the verse that follows...

If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the best from the land
but if you resist and rebel,
you will be devoured by the sword

so often I go into autopilot thinking that God will change me, but then forget that I must obey him and let myself be changable.
obedience...so hard at times...but must believe that God's promises are true and that in the end He will give me what's best, wash my sins clean and change my heart.

yeah we broke our perfect record...go RECON!

WILD GOOSE

In about ten minutes i will be off on my first camping trip ever, since wilderness in hong kong is that patch of grass between highways. It's not hardcore camping or anything, but still will be an interesting experience...we'll see if i survive.

wow...got a totally random email from jessi, my roommate from my junior year in highschool. haven't talked to her in years and last i remember she was off to bucknell, playing tennis, seeing some guy who's name i don't remember and still hating calculus. but now she's done school and getting ready to be shipped off to honduras to join the Peace Corps...somehow my sitting on my bum here in toronto doesn't seem quite as exciting in comparison. i know that you don't have to go off and do something "big" to be living a significant life, but can't help but have that "wow" cross your mind when you hear of someone going off and doing something like that.

as for my own updates, i finally got my first job interview! it's just the initial interview so no promises, but at least it's a glimmer of hope after not getting a single response having sent out at least 150 resumes. hopefully it will be the first of many...of which one or some will lead to actual jobs. 
but yeah really trying to learn the meaning of matthew 6:33 to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" and trust that He'll take care of the rest. with the whole job situation i tend to worry quite a bit and i can't help but feel unprepared for interviews and underqualified for jobs, but i was reminded by a little girl today that "everything is possible for him who believes" (mark 9:23). so pray for me for tomorrow and i'll let you all know how it goes.

time for another online survey

got this one off steph's site apparently i am:


An SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.
____________________________________________________________________________________

....."you do tremendous work when focused but usually operate somewhat distracted"....how true....there's truth to the massive mean streak part too...so watch out!

supa has joined a gym...hopefully i will have enough discipline to stick with it and be able to eventually change my nickname. i get one free hour with the personal trainer tomorrow. we had a quick interview after which he concluded that i have no diet discipline and he needs to create a workout that will "blast my abs and thighs". i think tomorrow he will also do that fat measuring thing where he will pinch my underarms and tell me how much of me is blubber...FUN!

but yes discipline in general is definitely something i need to work on. it's actually getting harder since i'm really settling into bumming around and not really having anything pressing to do. at least i've started the job search again (can't call it a hunt coz it's not that intense yet), but the lack of response is slightly discouraging. so with that most things i'm kinda cyclical, i'll start doing it coz i know i should, but then there aren't really any results so i get lazy and slow down and then go slower and eventually stop and bum for a while then i get sick of how idle i've gotten i start getting all gung-ho about it again for a bit, but then the same thing happens.
uncle simon (once again not the boyfriend) was saying in sunday school last week how most seemingly purposeless people aren't lacking a calling, but the discipline to carry it out...man...i really need a kick in the butt (not literally, so don't actually start kicking me)

so yes i figured i'd start building my discipline with a couple things to work on.
- waking up no later than 10am
- doing my devos in the morning rather than shoving them in right before i sleep (i've tried doing this many times, but doesn't ever really last long)
- apart from devos spend an hour reading either the bible or bible related book
- spend at least 2 hours a day searching and applying to jobs
- and since i paid for it, i will work out at the gym on a regular basis. the goal is 2-3 time a week, working up to 3-4 times a week within the next month

....hm....man almost intimidated already...hope i'm not biting off more i can chew...but i will try this for now and see how it goes. and since you guys all know about it you can ask me about it and make sure i'm on track...but once again no real butt kicking please...so yeah...i guess we'll see how things goes....

Tko's comment reminds me of a post i was gonna post but then got to lazy to...this happens alot which is why there are never any posts.

but yes last month some of us unemployed graduated bums decided to get into a van and travel south of the border to chicago (since we couldn't afford anything further). it turned out to be a time of good fun, food, laughs, standing ovations and of course quotes for the wall...

Nathan:
"I conserve my pee like a dog"

Nathan's mandom (the name of his aftershave):
"everyone loves a man, everyone loves a lover, man o mandon"

Yuling:
"i got mad viagra"

sign for a chinese bun (bow) shop:
"wow bow - fine asian buns"

so if you hadn't noticed i'd been hiding in a blogging ditch since school's been out. guess i've been waiting for something to happen to me that's worth blogging about. not to say the summer's been completely uneventful, but i keep putting it off expecting something else to come along.

...but...was reminded today at church as our pastor encouraged us to start each day on the right note, i realized that i've started my summer on a slightly sour note and from there the song's been a little off. for some reason i have been unable to get myself excited about the rest of my life. most times when i think of it, it just bothers me that i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. simon keeps trying to convince me that that's part of the excitement, coz possibilities are endless and it gives me a chance to really trust God (...am trying, but still have a long ways to go with that i guess).

then today uncle simon (incase you're confused that's sunday-school-teacher-simon not boyfriend-simon...i do not call my boyfriend uncle) also challenged us to think of the here and now of our life's purpose. often we keep saying we'll do god's purpose when we find our life's purpose and so our purposes now are to find our purposes, which is quite the crock of bull and an excuse to be complacent christians and I admit lately i’ve been guilty of it. been justifying it as a break after school to rest and prepare for the rest of my life which i think to an extent is true. but honestly i’ve been doing a whole lot of resting and not much preparing. so i’m gonna try starting this whole postschool summer thing again…the right way this time.

will try to update more often to let you guys know how it’s going.

done and done

was sitting infront of tim horton's waiting for paula and was looking at people walking by...i wonder how i missed it for so many years, but seriously all the girls here all look exactly the same. apparently the look to have is the wanna be casual "i just rolled out of bed" little tank/sweatshirt and sweatpant/capris/jean one...but really, who rolls out of bed with perfect hair and a ton of makeup. hm

ok i am officially a pack rat...i just went threw the stuff i've accumulated the four years i've been in london...and it's insane!! i threw away two shopping carts full of papers and random things, packed 6 bags of clothes for goodwill, have built a fort in my living room with boxes of my stuff...yet somehow my closest is still full and my room doesn't look like i'm packed at all...i got rather frustrated with the packing, but then i realized how much i have. i have everything i need and sooooo much more. sometimes i forget how much i've been blessed with and so often i take it for granted. really need to learn to appreciate the things i have, and not just the materialistic, but people and opportunities and relationships. i have a lot to be thankful for =)

wah yesterday's hazardous medical waste treatment plant tour was a little more fun than i had expected it to be...oh yeah and we're doing a project on it so it's not like we just go places like that for the fun of it.

but yeah i had been dreading this tour since it's just the three of us from my group driving there with my solid wastes prof, also thought i'd be grossed out by nasty anatomical parts and ewwy gooey nasty stuff (like the stuff they throw over the fence in fight club), but turns out they burn some other stuff too...

our tour turned out to be right in the middle of a police narcotics burning. and man THERE WERE SO MANY DRUGS...they were just wheeling them in in those huge garbage containers. i counted 20 and there were more on their way in. it was like something from a movie. there were like 7 cops guarding the incinerator and 3 with machine guns and two more armed ones guarding the unloading and just people all over the place....was crazy, but made the tour a little more exciting.

360+ pages printed and bound mark the end of my fourth year design project.
such a huge load lifted

bowling with friends is fun.

and matthea is crazy, herb is "agile and graceful", rob is a yam and apparently my head is shaped like a turnip.

a flyer on my door today informs me that the A&P across the street became a 24 hour one as of yesterday...

just in time to meet all those late night, mid-studying studying chip, chocolate, meatball etc. cravings. me's gonna get real fat this exam period.

haven't done an online quiz in quite a while now...and you know how addicted to those things i was...so here's a nice and short one...(somehow the picture wouldn't show when i pasted the thing in, but me being too lazy to figure out why i just left it)


you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

....sigh it's so close yet....so far away....

things between me and the end of my academic career...

1) thesis report
2) design project
3) process control project report
4) solid waste design report
5) final exams
6) 27 days of no sleep


a side note: if you're making a lot of photocopies and too lazy to close the cover each time....DON'T LOOK DOWN...i am still seeing lights.

hehe...my precious...

got my ring yesterday after some weird wanna be cultish ceremony.
almost lost my ring today when i was showering. i think we should take bets as to how long till i really lose it and need to get a replacement

also saw my first lady bug today, although it's a sign that long awaited spring has arrived...but i hate those things

today i waited almost an hour and paid some guy in a white robe 100 bucks to tell me that it would cost another $1200 to get my widsom teeth pulled.
i'm seriously rethinking the amy option...

ok so i left my computer unguarded with blogger logged in and simon got to it posting "connie's all paranoid that one day i'm going to sneak onto her computer and post stupid things on her blog when she isn't looking. can you believe that? where does she come up with these things? "...which explains why i get paranoid about him posting, but yes i tried deleting it, but it stayed there, and my sister thought it was my alter ego writing about me being paranoid of me posting, so i posted to clarify that it was simon, but then in doing so it deleted the one he posted leaving just my post...so i had to delete it or else you'd all really thing i was crazy, but i'd have to post something else to do so so i'd thought i'd explain the whole deal.

buuut it it seems in my attempt to not appear insane i think i have made the situation worse....but yes the point is simon is dumb and i'm not crazy...really...

yeah!...lots of bath an body works lotion and olive garden later, i am full and smelling like a mixture of sweet pea, white flower ginger, plumeria, cucumber melon and fresia. although i only bought one thing for myself, it was quite a satisfying trip.
however it will not be the food and the goods that make this trip one to remember

about 15 minutes back through the canadian border, caleb's car, which he today named the turd mobile decided to not want to move...so we all pulled over and being the asians we are all pulled out our cell phones made a whole bunch of calls and then sat and waited for the tow truck.
it's actually kinda neat sitting in the car on the highway with cars passing you by in the dark, kinda relaxing till you think about urban legends of all the horrible things they say happen to people in stopped cars on highways in the dark of the night...but then again i don't think any of them involved 3 carfulls of loud asians and their cellphones...

only 2 days left till outlet shopping...must prepare...

mmm....codeine is my best friend...

AHHH!!!!

what are the chances, the night before our fourth year design presentations, the engineering computer network crashes...
wanna know who did it? a computer engineering class writing their networking exam...how ironic.
if we weren't screwed, i'd be laughing really hard