as if i didn't hate winter enough i have to pay 1000 bucks to get tires just to drive in it...i am soooooo not a happy camper

So I got tagged by seminary boy#2 and then yelled at by both him and his brother to write 5 random things about myself. So much randomness hard to narrow it down to five, but here goes...

Random fact #1: I don’t eat onions, which is not unusual, lots of people don’t like onions, except I like cooking with onions. I love the smell they make when you throw them into a hot pan with garlic. So I put onions in my food only to spend 5 minutes a meal picking them right back out.

Random fact #2: I couldn’t do laundry properly if my life depended on it. I am capable of shrinking ANYTHING! Somehow even though I don’t use bleach and I wash on cold using liquid tide for cold washes, somehow clothes still come out with white “bleach” spots. I have also given up on separating darks and whites and am slowly bypassing the hamper. I take clothes right off and throw them directly into the washer, when there’s enough to warrant a load, I wash, dry and then live out of the dryer.

Random fact #3: You might not believe this, but I actually do write lots of blogs…they just don’t always end up actually making it onto my blog. I’ll have random things that I will want to blog about it I’ll start writing, get interrupted and save them on my desktop planning to come back and finish them later, which I obviously never do... At the moment I think I have files Blog #1-8 sitting on my desktop...also known as Superfatconball’s blog purgatory.

Random fact #4: I don’t respond well to physical contact. I think it causes strange biological reactions in me that usually lead to arms and legs flailing in the air, and me hurting myself from either me falling off desks, down stairs, running into walls etc.

Random fact #5: I am not graceful…*GASP* I know what a shocker. But I maintain that it I because I was traumatized as a child. See, when I was like four some stroke of genius inspired my mother to believe that stuffing me in a pink tutu and sending me off to ballet lessons would be a good idea...Except she signed me up for the same class as Amy since she didn’t want to drive us twice. So being at least two year younger and shorter than everyone in the class, my short legs couldn’t reach the stupid ballet bar and the teacher had to give me a stool on the side...scarring nicknames included her little squash and little elephant...and then there was that super traumatic event during our annual performance...you guys would love the story...but...*sigh* it’s just...too painful...

So I think I'm supposed to tag 5 people...I have no clue who still reads this thing...um...so it will be amy and michelle...i think you read this coz you love me (or are related to me)...grace hui, cho and jesse coz i read your blogs and it doesn't look like you've been tagged yet.....soooo....TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!

Was reading a nostalgic blog post this morning reminiscing about simpler times as children when things were fresh and new and how our lives should be lived like them, filled with excitement for such "firsts".

And looking at my own lists of firsts from my last post I see that is how I sometimes tend to define and evaluate my life as well. Recently Seminary Boy #1 (his younger brother is Seminary Boy #2) has been trying to get me to do one of this seminary/leadership exercises of creating a life timeline. I figured it'd be an interesting activity so I gave it a stab. And it's been pretty interesting thinking of all the events and "firsts" and it was fun to remember all the things that I've done and experienced and places.

I love learning and trying new things...almost to a fault like if you come visit my apartment you will see the evidence of all sorts of hobbies I begin, but don't get all that far with coz somewhere along the road the novelty of it wears off and something new catches my eye. It is fun and all, but honestly sometimes rather frivolous.
Then there is my big sister, who though I call her a nerd, I do admire (shhh don't tell her). Somehow as she goes along life trying new things (she went from library arts school, to applying for business school to wanting to be a teacher, to applying to dental school) she finds something that she likes enough to grow to love...even if to me it is of the strangest sorts...like teeth...I figured after 4 years of dental school and months of residency the novelty would wear off (because really who gets excited about teeth?!?!?), but still today I see the passion she has for what she does and the twinkle that gets in her eye when she is amongst her teethy friends (think they're called dentists) and they talk about teeth and teeth related things. I make fun of it and I don't think as a younger sister I'll ever stop, but it is kinda amazing (in a strange nerdy kinda way) and I do hope that it never goes away.

I think that's why significant moments like a child's first steps are so incredibly amazing and full of wonder not because of the steps in themselves, but because it's those firsts that mark the beginning of a lifelong journey of walking, running, leaping and dancing.

So I add my bit to the blog I read, that life is not just to live for firsts, but to live to find those firsts that will lead to seconds, thirds, fourths to start a journey and a passion that will stay with one forever.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes…

Today marks my one year in the working world…wow one year in Edmonton…boy how times flies…

Since it’s time for rent increases, car insurance renewals and all that fun stuff I figured it’s probably time see what I’ve done with myself.

When people ask me what’s up, my usual reply is nothing much. And a lot of times I feel like I’ve been moving backwards, but a lot actually has happened this past year and I’ve actually learned a lot.
Strange though, how far where I thought I’d be can be from where I actually am.

Just a few of the things that happened this year:

- First real job
- First car
- First car accident
- First life insurance policy
- First electric guitar (that dream of becoming a rock star however may take longer than I thought to realize)
- First family reunion
- First experience of –45C weather (with no wind-chill)
- First high school reunion (…which I couldn’t get time off to go to)
- First Futon (bought 8 months after I moved here)
- First heartbreak
- Baby sister goes off to university
- First two engagements of ACF people in my year
- Attended 2 weddings and a funeral
- First resignation

Thanks to all those who have been here for me, put up with my whining, laughed with me and cried with me...love you guys =)


And of course to end off I will quote my favorite musical (I’ve never seen but know all the words to):

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes, 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.
It's time now to sing out, tho the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love...Measure in love...

finally bought a blender...am having a fruit smoothie...YUM!
...also signed up for kung fu classes...hope i am not becoming davin, i kinda like having hair :P

*Delete Forever*

Finally took the courage to clean out my inbox.
263 emails full of inside jokes, plans, promises, apologies and prayers…that are no more…
figured it’d be easier without them sitting there reminding me all the time, but made the mistake of reading one…it just feels like it’s all happening all over again…and once again I lose.

my baby sister's gone off to university....boy does that make me feel old.

One of the worst feelings in the world is you realize that you are replaceable.
You go on believing that you’re important to something, but then you realize that it can go on just as well without you. And so you’re left feeling useless, foolish and like you just got punched really really hard in the stomach.

This awful rainy day has become my official mope-and-feel-sorry-for-myself-and-count-all-the-things-I-wish-I-were-and-had day.

I wish I was better, stronger…i wish i had my own song...

The Weather Network says tomorrow will be mainly sunny…hope they’re right.

ten days till i come home....can't wait!!!

so, my wrist started hurting yesterday when i was practicing guitar and now all worried about like carpal tunnel or something like that...so i got myself an ergonmic keyboard (well stole it really from a girl who left, but my friend in IT said it's ok)...a fancy schmacy one with the split keyboard...it's more comfy and stuff like that, but now i have a problem...

see, i never really ever learned to type properly. i can type at a decent pace, but just with my fingers on all the wrong keys...so yes this is proving to be just a little difficult...urgh

but yeah at least i'm not a two finger typer...our senior mechanical engineer went on vacation once and the guy popped all his keys out and put in back in the wrong order and he came back and couldn't figure out what was wrong.... hehe
(see i had to throw that in there to show that there are people worse than me at this typing thing, but now i will go back to work coz as much as i don't like doing it, it involves mainly the typing of numbers and the number pad thank goodness is the same).

summer in edmonton = connie sitting at home in a sweatshirt in the middle of june with a horrible cold = really sucky

can't wait to come home...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

I have finally made it past the 6-month mark of my time at Stantec.
Not that it’s hard or really a big deal…but it does mean that I start getting dental coverage…and finally get to pull out those annoying wisdom teeth that have been causing me pain for the last 3 years but I’ve been too poor to get pulled.
But I think I will save it for when summer's over and use it as an excuse to take a bunch of sick days when weather's crappy and I need a break from work.

Connie wants to be a rock star!!!!!!!!!!

rescue call...

simon's blog quoted a stat from somewhere that 90% of people fake a cell phone conversation at least once a month...was talking about this with some ago collegues a while back after some heated discussion started during a meeting about the future of our department which our boss conveniently had to cut short because he had a "conference call" to go to and a collegue compared it to the episode of sex in the city where charlotte gets carrie to call her to get her out of the bad date she's on.

well today i was surfing around the fido website and discovered a new service they call the "resue call" where you can either preset a time and date that you will need it or just dial #22 and they will give you a fake call to bail you out of whatever situation you're in...(it costs 50 cents so i don't know why you don't just set your phone's alarm to go off whenever you need to escape)
i also remember reading somewhere in the states that there's rejection number that you can give to people which plays them a "you have been rejected" message when they call it and proceeds to call them a loser or something like that.. i dunno, but i find that a tad harsh..what happened to just saying no?

have we become so afraid of rejection that we can't even be honest when giving it?

from friday's utmost...meant to post this since, but never got around to it...

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises.

Oswald Chambers...another super wise man...

i worry too much. i should know better, He has always been so good.

so....must learn to take things one task at a time.
well, one of the "tasks placed closest" at the moment is teaching 13 9th graders sunday school.
i am a tad nervous...going through the syllabus i was given hoping that it would give me some kinda clue as to how to relate to 9th graders, but no real luck...
really don't wanna be another irrelevant old person that doesn't get what they are going through...hopefully i will have something real worth sharing...
so yes if i have not already pestered you for advice and if you have some to give please do...oh yeah yuling...any books?

yes i know...placing inpressionable young minds in my care...what were they thinking... =P

...as if religion were something God invented, and not His statement to us of certain quite unalterable facts about His own nature...

quite a few times while reading mere christianity have i had to stop, take a deep breath and just go...wow...
he goes from an intellectual discourse on the existence of God, to basic and pratical application in morals and virtues in the world we are in, yet points forward to eternity reminding us that we follow these virtues not to get into heaven, but to become a "certain sort of person" that would find joy when we get there...and then goes to tie it in the end with theology and the purpose behind it all...

i could ramble on forever about things that stood out to me and probably end up quoting half the book...but for now this one really sticks out...

Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him... ...Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings [for God]. Ask yourself, 'If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?' When you have found the answer, go and do it.

once again...wow...challenging no?

speaking of challenge, yuling has once again begun (and begun pestering other people about...and don't get me wrong the "pestering" is much needed) his 10 book challenge.
so far i am 0 for 2, with 5.5 books being last summer's count...but this year it will be different (i know i said the same thing last year...but it will). i have actually been good lately and reading a fair bit (of course having said that i will probably jinx myself and never read again).

i am trying to create a well balanced reading list...i know so far it's so far it consists of...i am open to recommendations

1) Rediscovering Church - Lynne and Bill Hybels
2) Jesus Amoung Other Gods - Ravi Zacharias
3) Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom
4) The Story We Find Ourselves In -Brian McLaren
5) The Last Word and the Word After That - Brian McLaren
6) The Life You've Alway Wanted - John Ortberg
7) Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
8) The Davinci's Code - Dan Brown
9) Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki
10) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (the whole trilogy of five) - Douglas Adams

i know the last two are kinda iffy....my friend recommended the rich/poor book when she realized that i have no clue about money...and have none for that matter...
and for the hitchhiker's guide...i know it's not the most deep and significant book, but i'm reading 5 for 1 so it should be ok... and once again, i am open for suggestions...

...and yes you may have noticed that i am back to blogging...i had been reluctant to blog since i didn't always feel i had something to blog about and that it wouldn't be amusing....well i was reminded the other day that people don't just come to my blog for amusement, but might actually care what has been going on in my life while i'm all the way in edmonton...so...YEAH!!!...i have friends! =)

Connie spoke too soon...

today it rains...sunday it snows...BAH!

Connie likes:

- summery weather
- driving with the sunroof open
- impromptu Sunday afternoon barbecues
- cheese filled smokies

Edmonton’s not bad in the spring/summer...think it’s trying to convince people not to hate it after snowing on them all winter... =P

so...as promised i will tell you if the day following my good day was good as well...*drum roll....* and.....the answer is......it was ok... (hahaha...i know i'm gonna get kicked for that =P)

and most my days are ok here...so yes don't be worrying about me being all alone and depressed here, coz i'm not...i do get bored sometimes...and living on my own i have on rare occasions i have caught myself talking to myself...i also have bad days where i give myself whiplash or a massive bump on my head (other stories for other days), but usually they are ok...

there's nothing wrong with an ok day...nothing goes wrong...yet nothing extraordinary happens either. you get used to ok days, learn to be happy with them and go one having one after another of them...but then every once in a while a little sparkle enters, and you get to leave your usual routine for a bit, connect and get a glimsp of a little something beyond your own little life...and the day turns into a good one.

good days since my last blog: 2

today was a good day. don't get too many of those...i hope tomorrow will be one too.

i'll let you know if it is...

hehe...i'm working on a project for this place called battle river...and there's a section in it called skulls island...feel like i should wear a patch to work with a parrot on my shoulder...

FREE FOOOOD

yeah good news just keeps coming doesn't it? for our "dedication and commitment" to the company in 2004 (for me it's only 3 weeks) we get a $30 grocery store coupon.

hm...how many shrimp rings can i buy for 30 bucks...
mmmmmm I LOVE shrimp rings!!!!

10....9...8....7...6..5...4....3...2............................1

only 10 days till i come home for christmas!!!

i am excited....that is all...

so cold...so snowy....so sad....so many 3-inch heels i cannot wear in the snow without my toes freezing and me breaking my back...
on a quest to find winter shoes that i can walk to work in -26 degree weather in but do not look like i'm wearing my grandma's shoes. if you have suggestions of places to look please tell me...

i come to work 20 minutes early every single day...how come it's the one day i show up 5 minutes late that my boss decides to come in 5 minutes early?

but still it is a good morning. we had a christmas "party" (just food and booze) yesterday in the office and the store forgot three platters of food and brought them after everyone left so there are three huge platters of meats and cheeses in the fridge this morning. my stomach will probably complain about this later...but...mmmm meat...mmmmm cheese

GRRR...i'm back...

yes remember that annoying girl that would pester and whine and nag about people signing her guestbook? well she's back...this time about her comments.

come on guys i'm starting to post again...i know not the most frequent or the most exciting...but still...give me some motivation...i'm still in the frail beginning state...if i get discouraged i might stop again....so yes let me know you've stopped by, even if it's just to say hi...please? please....pretty please?

cubical update...

my new cubie is nice...big bright with a nice big window too..it's all nice and pretty outside with the (still white) snow. the only thing wrong with being able to look outside is that poorly insulated window's make it feel like you ARE outside.
as i am typing this i am wearing gloves and a scarf...INDOORS!!!
guess it does keep me awake at work...but still...caffine does the job good enough...
i have already started wearing tights under my pants to walk to work...will slowly move into longjohns and then flannel lined pants...darned me for being too cheap to pay for parking...

Whenever there is doubt—wait....Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.
- oswald chambers, my utmost for his highest

my usual reaction when there is doubt is to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off....guess waiting's a better idea, huh?

on a totally unrelated note i walked outside today took a deep breath and felt something i hadn't in a very long time...stuff inside my nose froze...ew i know...and to imagine it only gets colder from here.

EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE THAT HAS ETERNAL VALUE HINGES ON TWO THINGS: LOVING GOD AND LOVING OTHERS
- Stormie Omartianm, Power of a Praying Woman

someone asked me what my passion was...and honestly i didn't really know what to say...

i seen myself as rather average. not particular good at anything, i do things that i do, some of which i enjoy and others i don't really but do anyways and that was that. i envied people who were "passionate" about the things they do...art, music...even school...sometimes i'd go out and try to "find" my passion.
dabbled in this and that and never really got anywhere.

this summer we did a spiritual gifts test...and my biggest turned out to be hospitality (with bits of mercy). yeah hospitality...what the....people get wisdom and faith and preaching and teaching and all that stuff and...i get hospitality...no fair!

but then i read the above and it really really struck something in my heart...people...guess what! that's it...I LOVE PEOPLE...had let myself forget that...

i think i used to know it. looking in the past at my life and the ministries that i've been involved with, the times that i've felt i was where i was supposed to be, i was with people...and more than that serving them and knowing that the little that i was doing would make a difference. i was pretty gung-ho about it too...

so yes...my passion is serving people. never ever thought of that as a passion...had preferred to have been able to paint , write a book or play an instrument or something...so i let it slip and for a while thought that it was the ministries themselves that were my purpose, so i got into the logistics and planning which is a passion for some, but it was draining and i didn't like doing it so much anymore.

and this whole summer at TCBC with the whole purpose driven thing and spiritual gfits etc etc etc i was looking at myself and trying to find who i was and what God wanted me to be doing.
figured i could bother about other people and serving after i had myself all worked out. is the same attitude i carried over to edmonton and has made me quite bitter since i just haven't been able to work it out.

then this all came to me like i got hit in the head with a frying pan (don't really know how that actually feels but amy did drop a pot on my head when we were small)...first i felt so dumb coz it had taken me so long to figure out something so simple that i had known before...but then i was soooo thankful and couldn't stop it with the praise and i dunno made me feel i dunno....alive?
not that i have my life all defined or anything...far from it...but i have a feeling i'm back on the right path now. make sense?

so yes i don't ever want to forget this again...if later in life you find that i have...yes, you may hit me on the head with a frying pan

MOVING ON UP!

...well not really...just one cubical over and across from where i used to be, but it's got a window, the chair's got armrests, the computer's got a CD rom (still no sound card tho) and it's not on the engineering manager's way out of his office...so hopefully no more tapping fingers that scare the heck out of me.
so nice to look up and see the outside with the sun shining and happy stuff like that...of course it will get depressing when everything outside turns white, and then brown...and stays that way for months....but i will enjoy this while i can. YEAH!

yeah telephone calls are fun. thanks grace for calling and totally making my day....hehe someone loves me =)

ARGH
the plan was to come home christmas and take the extra DVD player just lying around at home (i paid for it so it's ok) to watch all the movies you guys will be recommending me on my previous post. but then i took a look at the old hunk of junk my aunt gave me (the up and down channel buttons don't work and only go to channels 3, 8, 11 and 13 so you have to punch each number in...makes channel surfing rather difficult) and THERE'S NOWHERE TO PLUG ANYTHING INTO IT!!!
i checked front, back, sides....no...nothing...AHHHHHHH

simon and his friends are all doing this survey thing on their blogs where you recommend them books, music and movies...realized how much of a hole i've been living in since i can't really think of that last good book i've read...or any book at all. i'm still listening to music from my dad's generation and i haven't seen a movie since the summer....so i'll let you guys fill it out for me...don't worry you get something out of it too...
here goes...

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

went to the store with joni to buy food. reached for the no name brand smoked turkey, but let joni convince me to spring for the low fat "lean and tastey" one for 1 cent more...mistake. tastes like rubber...am reminded why i had sworn off low fat stuff till then...shiver...never again...fat is my friend...

but speaking of friends...i am finally starting to get some here...
i know i'm long due for some pics, so here are some of the girls at church.
here we (next to me in the cap is aimee, then becca, karen, irene and cel) are pigging out on some yummy pie that joni topped with delicious icecream...neither of which were fat free thank you :P
 

been waiting for a real good story to tell you all about, but realizing more and more that something like that is not likely gonna happen soon and even me looking at my own blog not being updated is getting on my nerves. so until anything exciting happens in my life i will blog about everyday randomness...i guess like i always have...

but yes life here is not the most exciting. it's stable and nice (got a permanent job so that good) but not exciting. work is work learning alot but I just sit in my office (they call it an office but it's just a cubical with three walls and when the engineering manager walks by he likes to run his fingers along desks the passes and it's kinda weird...but guess it keeps me on my toes) and do work. this weeks it's PSV sizing. every once in a while i'll go for drinks with my collegues on fridays which is kinda funny coz they are the same stereotypical crude yet still nerdy engineers that i've gone to school with for the past 4 years...but then we get back to the office and we don't really talk. my best friend in the office is spot...the animated microsoft office help assistant...and i know he doesn't have any spots...but still. a guy from church who does tech support for office says the one most common thing people call to ask about is how to get rid of those stupid annoying things...and i used to find them annoying as ever too, but....now he's my only friend.

i know i know you're all feeling sorry for me...but don't it's not all bad here...i have learned how to steam fish and make some good chinese soup so i am well fed...wait...that means i'm just gonna get mighty fat sitting in my cubical all day...oh...boo...

well today was a day of firsts...

- first time i've driven to work
- first time i've had to brush and scrap snow and ice off a windshield
- first time i've driven in the snow
- and actually.......it's the first time i've driven by myself EVER

...i know it's scary, connie's out on the loose. but really i'm not that dangerous...probably because right now i drive even slower than my mother does =P

BAH! there's no more escaping it...woke up this morning and edmonton's covered in snow...and probably will be for the next six months...and i hate snow...which of course makes edmonton not so good a place for me to be...i am not pleased

tada! i'm back.
yes i fell into an internetless ditch since i've been in edmonton so i hadn't had a chance to update about what's been going on, but now i'm infront of the computer and SOOOOO much has happened that i don't know even know where to start...so i'm gonna put it off a little longer and try to collect my thoughts. but something happened today that i just HAD to announce to the world...teeheehee...i'm all giddy just thinking about it....

today i made the biggest purchase i have ever made in my entire life...yup i got off work , dropped into mazda, and BOUGHT ME A CAR!!!

i know i know with rent and living expeneses and the very little that i'm getting paid, i'll be paying it off for the rest of my life...but it's so pretty and i'm so happy...i still can't drive worth crap, but the law says i am allowed to and now i have something to drive...so...hehehe...watch out cows stay off the road! =P

but yeah all excitement aside, simon (the boyfriend) reminded me that the first car is a life milestone...wow graduation, moving out, job (even if it's just a short term contract), first car...wow it's like i'm actually headed somewhere...and don't worry with car payments and insurance, it's not the mall.

just packed my life into three suitcases...leaving for edmonton tomorrow....if you haven't talked to me in the last two weeks...yes i am moving to edmonton for the year...long story that i'll probably post later.
so yeah off to live with the cows...tata!

arrived in one piece in edmonton. interview's in 36 hours, but for the meantime am seeing family and friends and enjoying being VERY well fed =)

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD ;
O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

If you, O LORD , kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD , my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD ,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe God's grace that can wipe away the darkest of sins and change even the hardest of hearts especially when I look at my own and the things that I have done, but in the past have always been encouraged when I read Isaiah...

Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

but I think when it's quoted, or at least when I quote it I forget the verse that follows...

If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the best from the land
but if you resist and rebel,
you will be devoured by the sword

so often I go into autopilot thinking that God will change me, but then forget that I must obey him and let myself be changable.
obedience...so hard at times...but must believe that God's promises are true and that in the end He will give me what's best, wash my sins clean and change my heart.

yeah we broke our perfect record...go RECON!

WILD GOOSE

In about ten minutes i will be off on my first camping trip ever, since wilderness in hong kong is that patch of grass between highways. It's not hardcore camping or anything, but still will be an interesting experience...we'll see if i survive.

wow...got a totally random email from jessi, my roommate from my junior year in highschool. haven't talked to her in years and last i remember she was off to bucknell, playing tennis, seeing some guy who's name i don't remember and still hating calculus. but now she's done school and getting ready to be shipped off to honduras to join the Peace Corps...somehow my sitting on my bum here in toronto doesn't seem quite as exciting in comparison. i know that you don't have to go off and do something "big" to be living a significant life, but can't help but have that "wow" cross your mind when you hear of someone going off and doing something like that.

as for my own updates, i finally got my first job interview! it's just the initial interview so no promises, but at least it's a glimmer of hope after not getting a single response having sent out at least 150 resumes. hopefully it will be the first of many...of which one or some will lead to actual jobs. 
but yeah really trying to learn the meaning of matthew 6:33 to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" and trust that He'll take care of the rest. with the whole job situation i tend to worry quite a bit and i can't help but feel unprepared for interviews and underqualified for jobs, but i was reminded by a little girl today that "everything is possible for him who believes" (mark 9:23). so pray for me for tomorrow and i'll let you all know how it goes.

time for another online survey

got this one off steph's site apparently i am:


An SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.
____________________________________________________________________________________

....."you do tremendous work when focused but usually operate somewhat distracted"....how true....there's truth to the massive mean streak part too...so watch out!

supa has joined a gym...hopefully i will have enough discipline to stick with it and be able to eventually change my nickname. i get one free hour with the personal trainer tomorrow. we had a quick interview after which he concluded that i have no diet discipline and he needs to create a workout that will "blast my abs and thighs". i think tomorrow he will also do that fat measuring thing where he will pinch my underarms and tell me how much of me is blubber...FUN!

but yes discipline in general is definitely something i need to work on. it's actually getting harder since i'm really settling into bumming around and not really having anything pressing to do. at least i've started the job search again (can't call it a hunt coz it's not that intense yet), but the lack of response is slightly discouraging. so with that most things i'm kinda cyclical, i'll start doing it coz i know i should, but then there aren't really any results so i get lazy and slow down and then go slower and eventually stop and bum for a while then i get sick of how idle i've gotten i start getting all gung-ho about it again for a bit, but then the same thing happens.
uncle simon (once again not the boyfriend) was saying in sunday school last week how most seemingly purposeless people aren't lacking a calling, but the discipline to carry it out...man...i really need a kick in the butt (not literally, so don't actually start kicking me)

so yes i figured i'd start building my discipline with a couple things to work on.
- waking up no later than 10am
- doing my devos in the morning rather than shoving them in right before i sleep (i've tried doing this many times, but doesn't ever really last long)
- apart from devos spend an hour reading either the bible or bible related book
- spend at least 2 hours a day searching and applying to jobs
- and since i paid for it, i will work out at the gym on a regular basis. the goal is 2-3 time a week, working up to 3-4 times a week within the next month

....hm....man almost intimidated already...hope i'm not biting off more i can chew...but i will try this for now and see how it goes. and since you guys all know about it you can ask me about it and make sure i'm on track...but once again no real butt kicking please...so yeah...i guess we'll see how things goes....

Tko's comment reminds me of a post i was gonna post but then got to lazy to...this happens alot which is why there are never any posts.

but yes last month some of us unemployed graduated bums decided to get into a van and travel south of the border to chicago (since we couldn't afford anything further). it turned out to be a time of good fun, food, laughs, standing ovations and of course quotes for the wall...

Nathan:
"I conserve my pee like a dog"

Nathan's mandom (the name of his aftershave):
"everyone loves a man, everyone loves a lover, man o mandon"

Yuling:
"i got mad viagra"

sign for a chinese bun (bow) shop:
"wow bow - fine asian buns"

so if you hadn't noticed i'd been hiding in a blogging ditch since school's been out. guess i've been waiting for something to happen to me that's worth blogging about. not to say the summer's been completely uneventful, but i keep putting it off expecting something else to come along.

...but...was reminded today at church as our pastor encouraged us to start each day on the right note, i realized that i've started my summer on a slightly sour note and from there the song's been a little off. for some reason i have been unable to get myself excited about the rest of my life. most times when i think of it, it just bothers me that i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. simon keeps trying to convince me that that's part of the excitement, coz possibilities are endless and it gives me a chance to really trust God (...am trying, but still have a long ways to go with that i guess).

then today uncle simon (incase you're confused that's sunday-school-teacher-simon not boyfriend-simon...i do not call my boyfriend uncle) also challenged us to think of the here and now of our life's purpose. often we keep saying we'll do god's purpose when we find our life's purpose and so our purposes now are to find our purposes, which is quite the crock of bull and an excuse to be complacent christians and I admit lately i’ve been guilty of it. been justifying it as a break after school to rest and prepare for the rest of my life which i think to an extent is true. but honestly i’ve been doing a whole lot of resting and not much preparing. so i’m gonna try starting this whole postschool summer thing again…the right way this time.

will try to update more often to let you guys know how it’s going.

done and done

was sitting infront of tim horton's waiting for paula and was looking at people walking by...i wonder how i missed it for so many years, but seriously all the girls here all look exactly the same. apparently the look to have is the wanna be casual "i just rolled out of bed" little tank/sweatshirt and sweatpant/capris/jean one...but really, who rolls out of bed with perfect hair and a ton of makeup. hm

ok i am officially a pack rat...i just went threw the stuff i've accumulated the four years i've been in london...and it's insane!! i threw away two shopping carts full of papers and random things, packed 6 bags of clothes for goodwill, have built a fort in my living room with boxes of my stuff...yet somehow my closest is still full and my room doesn't look like i'm packed at all...i got rather frustrated with the packing, but then i realized how much i have. i have everything i need and sooooo much more. sometimes i forget how much i've been blessed with and so often i take it for granted. really need to learn to appreciate the things i have, and not just the materialistic, but people and opportunities and relationships. i have a lot to be thankful for =)

wah yesterday's hazardous medical waste treatment plant tour was a little more fun than i had expected it to be...oh yeah and we're doing a project on it so it's not like we just go places like that for the fun of it.

but yeah i had been dreading this tour since it's just the three of us from my group driving there with my solid wastes prof, also thought i'd be grossed out by nasty anatomical parts and ewwy gooey nasty stuff (like the stuff they throw over the fence in fight club), but turns out they burn some other stuff too...

our tour turned out to be right in the middle of a police narcotics burning. and man THERE WERE SO MANY DRUGS...they were just wheeling them in in those huge garbage containers. i counted 20 and there were more on their way in. it was like something from a movie. there were like 7 cops guarding the incinerator and 3 with machine guns and two more armed ones guarding the unloading and just people all over the place....was crazy, but made the tour a little more exciting.

360+ pages printed and bound mark the end of my fourth year design project.
such a huge load lifted

bowling with friends is fun.

and matthea is crazy, herb is "agile and graceful", rob is a yam and apparently my head is shaped like a turnip.

a flyer on my door today informs me that the A&P across the street became a 24 hour one as of yesterday...

just in time to meet all those late night, mid-studying studying chip, chocolate, meatball etc. cravings. me's gonna get real fat this exam period.

haven't done an online quiz in quite a while now...and you know how addicted to those things i was...so here's a nice and short one...(somehow the picture wouldn't show when i pasted the thing in, but me being too lazy to figure out why i just left it)


you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

....sigh it's so close yet....so far away....

things between me and the end of my academic career...

1) thesis report
2) design project
3) process control project report
4) solid waste design report
5) final exams
6) 27 days of no sleep


a side note: if you're making a lot of photocopies and too lazy to close the cover each time....DON'T LOOK DOWN...i am still seeing lights.

hehe...my precious...

got my ring yesterday after some weird wanna be cultish ceremony.
almost lost my ring today when i was showering. i think we should take bets as to how long till i really lose it and need to get a replacement

also saw my first lady bug today, although it's a sign that long awaited spring has arrived...but i hate those things

today i waited almost an hour and paid some guy in a white robe 100 bucks to tell me that it would cost another $1200 to get my widsom teeth pulled.
i'm seriously rethinking the amy option...

ok so i left my computer unguarded with blogger logged in and simon got to it posting "connie's all paranoid that one day i'm going to sneak onto her computer and post stupid things on her blog when she isn't looking. can you believe that? where does she come up with these things? "...which explains why i get paranoid about him posting, but yes i tried deleting it, but it stayed there, and my sister thought it was my alter ego writing about me being paranoid of me posting, so i posted to clarify that it was simon, but then in doing so it deleted the one he posted leaving just my post...so i had to delete it or else you'd all really thing i was crazy, but i'd have to post something else to do so so i'd thought i'd explain the whole deal.

buuut it it seems in my attempt to not appear insane i think i have made the situation worse....but yes the point is simon is dumb and i'm not crazy...really...

yeah!...lots of bath an body works lotion and olive garden later, i am full and smelling like a mixture of sweet pea, white flower ginger, plumeria, cucumber melon and fresia. although i only bought one thing for myself, it was quite a satisfying trip.
however it will not be the food and the goods that make this trip one to remember

about 15 minutes back through the canadian border, caleb's car, which he today named the turd mobile decided to not want to move...so we all pulled over and being the asians we are all pulled out our cell phones made a whole bunch of calls and then sat and waited for the tow truck.
it's actually kinda neat sitting in the car on the highway with cars passing you by in the dark, kinda relaxing till you think about urban legends of all the horrible things they say happen to people in stopped cars on highways in the dark of the night...but then again i don't think any of them involved 3 carfulls of loud asians and their cellphones...

only 2 days left till outlet shopping...must prepare...

mmm....codeine is my best friend...

AHHH!!!!

what are the chances, the night before our fourth year design presentations, the engineering computer network crashes...
wanna know who did it? a computer engineering class writing their networking exam...how ironic.
if we weren't screwed, i'd be laughing really hard

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

date: march 2nd, 2004
time: 9-11am
where: in my area
what: MY FIRST IN CAR LESSON!!!

yes i will actually be on the road...in a car...driving it...or at least trying to...hehehehehe

i told you i'd give you advanced warning...so yes, it is now time to start fearing for your lives.

so tired...i want to die...or just sleep a really really long time...
and i'm home alone...i need friends...

wheee...after learning two semesters' worth of process control in 24 hours, no sleep and an exam, reading week finally begins...FREEDOM...that is until wednesday when i come back and have daily dates with the chem lab from 9am-6pm for like the rest of my life...but i will think about that wednesday at 9

Supa on wheels...

i know the world never thought it would see this day, but in 7.5 hours i will be starting driver's ed.
yes at 22 years of age i am finally gonna try to learn to drive. (however matt still holds the record for being the biggest bum =P)

don't worry yet tho, it's only in classes for now...so the streets of London will be safe for another couple of weeks.
i'll give you guys a heads up for when you'll need to fear for your lives....hehe

vroom vroom....

stupid me...how does one forget sometime so important!?!?!??! spend my whole academic career looking forward to one thing and then when it comes i forget about it...
i have an assignment due today and spent all yesterday working on it and completely forgot about my iron ring info session. argh my brain is useless.
i guess it's not the biggest deal since it's an info session and not the actual ceremony...hopefully it's not a mandatory one...but still i was so excited...argh..

iron ring...mmm ring.....ooo...my precious...

LIFE AS I KNOW IT IS OVER!!!

today i heard news that will change my life forever......and no it's not the proposed changes in NHL regulations...

my roomate informed me today that they changed all the coin operated washer in our laundry room to take a loonie and a quarter for a load. a LOONIE!!! i've spent my whole life, well last two and a half years of it, finding every possible way to breaking those things up into like shiny quarters (refer to April 5th, 2002's post)...and now i have to collect both loonies and quarters...i don't know if i can handle this!!!
oh but this is not all...the loonies wasn't the only piece of bad news rosey brought back from the laundry room. she had gone to do her laundry returning only to find that her new track pants were missing...she had fallen prey to the evil laundry stealer.

but seriously, who steals laundry?!?!? it's so disturbing! can you imagine some random person poking through your clothes and touching all your "intimates"...*shudder* but worst of all they stole her NEW track pants. they were so nice and new and she was so happy with them...stupid laundry thieves. now we all have to guard our laundry

...or i guess the way to avoid all this would be to give up on doing laundry alltogether...hm...small price to pay...j/k =P

hm...so i guess the trial run of the comments thingy was a success. 15 comments in only a week, that's more than my guestbook got in like a month...and there was no teeth pulling or whining involved either...keep up the good work guys!

i think i like the comment thing. it's neat to see who still reads this thing and who has blogs of their own...like dor, since when did you have a blog, but then again, every asian person seems to have one.

ok so i added comments to my blog. it is only a trial thing tho . i think if it ends up and unused as my guestbook i might do away with both of them...

haven't done an online quiz in a while...and you all know how i love those.
well found this one on Cho's blog.

here are my results:

Connie, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional

haven't really thought what this all means, just kinda skimmed it...of course the real reason i'm posting it is just coz it's long and i can say i posted a long update with minimal thinking/typing.
but at initial skimming it seems to say i am slow, judegemental, indecisive and not creative enough?...hm...

everyone's posting these mass updates, so i guess it's my turn...plus someone said if i didn't, he'd call me daily to yell at me...i guess that's not horrible, since some phone calls (even hate ones) are better than the no phone calls i'm getting now (oh yeah simon calls, but he doesn't count =P )

but yes i will be keeping this short, since 1) my life's not all that exciting and 2) my fingers are a little sore (refer to update item #4)
so here goes:

1) comments on my last post...

for those of you who were worried, don't worry simon's still alive an kicking...i did not poison him with my over boiling congee. for those who had wished otherwise...i'm sorry to disappoint...hehe
but yes i just felt the need to clarify...i'm not a horrible cook or anything...i can cook many yummy things...i just sometimes forget i'm cooking it and they turn not so yummy...but once again, the congee was good...really....


2) operation blue dress

.....has failed...that is all...


3) grossness

meant to post this one up when i happened, but i got lazy...
so usually i have a conflict with my class on fridays and i go to the other class...but the prof promised to give us tips and guidelines for our marketing report.
so i go to this class for the first time all semester thinking it'd be worth it, but the prof just hands out the assignment...which is posted on the website anyways. so i am sitting there quite feeling like i just wasted my time...and i feel something on m head. i thought at first it was one of my dumb friends throwing stuff at me (you think they'd be mature enough to have grown out of that, but no they aren't), so i turn around and look and there's no one i know behind me. i am all confused and even more annoyed with the class.
then i feel it on my head again...so i look up this time...and there dangling off the edge of the balcony right on top of me is a pair of dripping boots.
URGH that's what i get for going to class...grrr


4) pluck pluck pluck

in another one of attempts to not be the only asian i know who doesn't play any kind of musical intrument, i am trying to learn to play the guitar.
i hope this does not turn out like my weak attempt at learning to play drums which left me with still no rhythm and nothing but bruises on my legs.
but yes i have borrowed a guitar to practice on and now know enough chords to play lord i lift your name on high and hosanna...which i play all day long...if i were living with anyone but rosey i'd probably have had my head torn off ten times by now...seriously if i weren't playing them i'd be horribly annoyed as well..coz i say i know them, but that doesn't mean i play them very well...
thank goodness rosey really isn't a tear your head of kinda girl =P, plus she has a tendency to play songs on repeat for days.
but yes if i practice very very hard, i might actually have a talent...if only my fingers would stop throbbing....


5) loving one another

that was the theme of our ACF winter retreat last weekend. first of all can't believe it was my last ACF winter retreat. been to seven of these things, and honestly i have learned so much from each and everyone of them. and each year is different, as ACF grows and older ones leave and the frosh come it. it's been such an amazing journey.
but yes loving one another...seems such the christian cliche, but when you really think about God's love for his people there is so much more.
this weekend when God showed His love to His people, doubt, fear, pride and bitterness were brought to light, and in its place came conviction, forgiveness, grace and joy. and when the walls are all torn down, and you look at the people around you, each created in God's own image and loved by God, you realized there is nothing you can do but love them.
it is truly truly amazing.
right now i am at a loss for words...i will write more later.

pretending to be the good caring girlfriend that i am so obviously NOT, i decided to make some congee for the sick boy...but being the extremely forgetful person that i am, i got distracted by leno and left my little concoction there on the stove to boil over.
no worries tho, i don't think i'll poison him coz the congee escaped unharmed...but my stovetop is now completely covered with a starchy layer of ricey water that's just kinda caked on...yum! *sigh*...my poor stove top...and *double sigh*...poor me who now needs to go scrub it...

another Christmas and New Year's gone by...was much the usual family friends and food...and of course the annual holiday 5 pound weight gain...man at this rate if i love long enough i'll hit sumo size. but yes this time my friends decided that since it's our last year we should all go to the charity ball...which means that blue dress i bought that fit just right two summers (ie two christmas breaks and about a zillion pounds) ago needs to be able to zip by January 31st...sigh don't think that will ever happen...as i gobble down a bowl of chocolate fudge icecream =P
hm i wonder if a potato sack counts and formal wear.

but yes fat jokes about me aside, it's that beginning of the year time when you kinda look back at the past year and ahead at things to come...no resolutions or anything like that, but just thinking how much God's been working in me and around me. Last year was an amazing year, was hard at times but i am really really thankful for everything that's happened and everyone who's been a part of it.

well, this year starts the last semester of my university experience (or so i hope) i have no clue what to expect after all this...a little bit nervous, but also a little bit excited. but yes before i start thinking about the rest of my life, i do have to rest of the semester to deal with...and many many more nights in the lab. i assure you will all be hearing lots more about that =P

was about the whine and cry about the fact that i am stuck in the computer lab while the whole rest of the world is free and out playing...but...then i read my last post...and yes indeed...i am too blessed to be stressed.
aiya!...so easy to slip into feeling sorry for yourself and complaining about things.

on the bright side, nobody else being in the lab...means that the complab nazis aren't here to rip your head off at the smell of food, so i brought a whole bag of chips ahoy cookies and there being no one else here to have to share with...mwuahahahaha...350g of double chocolate goodness is all mine!
..........now if i could just figure out this whole FUG calculation thing...

i've been realizing that you really can decide how you feel. you can choose to be depressed and wallow and sulk and feel sorry for yourself...or you can choose not to...

i've been through some struggles big and small and downtimes and many a "bleh" times, but each time it only gets clearer that God has blessed me and there is no reason for me not to feel blessed.

i know alot of people are having exams around now and at least for myself i often get caught up in all that needs to be done and get stressed and all...so here's a little something i stole off a friend's wall as a little reminder, it's kinda cute.

I am too blessed to be stressed,
And too anointed to be disappointed.

I refuse to be discouraged; to be sad or to cry.
I refuse to be downhearted and here’s the reason why:
I have a God who is almighty! He is sovereign and supreme!
I have a God who loves me; I am on His team!

He is all wise and powerful; Jesus is His Name;
Though everything else is changeable, My God remains the same!
I refuse to be defeated... My eyes are on my GOD!
He has promised to be with me, as through this life I trod.

I am looking past my circumstances, to heaven’s throne above.
My prayers have reached the heart of God; I am resting in His love!
I give thanks to Him in everything. My eyes are on His face.
The battle is His! The victory is mine! He will help me win the race!

what is up with the "wassups"?

when i ask someone what's up or how's it going, i usually expect an answer, but i'm finding that when many people say don't actually care what is up with you.
i was walking to the UCC the other day and this guy i had class with in first year walking towards me. i smile and say hi, and he goes hey, wassup? so in my little mind i thought that meant we would stop and chat a bit, and proceeded to slow down and start talking...but he just keeps walking right past me, so there i am looking like an idiot talking to myself in the middle of the sidewalk.
i guess people just kinda use it as a greeting and don't really expect a reply...but isn't that like what "hello" is for? see if someone just said hello i would smile say hello back and then that would be that, no me looking stupid...but sigh...somehow things just never are that easy are they...

hm...i was gonna post a picture here and write about taking pictures...but it's been so long i forget how to do that...so we'll just have to do without the visual...

but yes, i would like to comment on that horrible thing that happens when you give an asian a digital camera...as soon as you do, you will never be safe again. every moment of your life could potentially be captured and used against you without your even knowing. like you could be sleeping peacefully and unsuspectingly on a bus back from retreat and a week later you find a picture of yourself posted on someone's imagestation page...drool and all!!! (grrrr...mike!!!!). and let's not even get started on all the most unflattering midspeach/blinking/eating pictures that are everywhere now. but then again...the ones that aren't of yourself can be pretty funny...

oh and i thought it was bad enough when we get together and take group shots and everyone wants a copy with their camera, so you'd be sitting there with your smile frozen on forever and then when it finally gets to your camera your face hurts so much you just end up scowling...thought that the digital cameras would at least eliminate that problem...but noooo...everyone still needs to take one with their own cameras...and since it's digital and cost practically nothing to take more pictures...they'll want two or three or four shots each...just thinking about it hurts my face...

ah yes...and everyone wants pictures with everyone all the time, and it's always the same pose...cho is the queen of this (mike follows closely after tho)...i swear i have like 10 pictures with her at 10 different occasion and you can't tell the difference coz it's the same pose: two people heads slightly tilted towards each other, always the same smile...although occasionally she'll throw in the fobby peace sign to mix things up a bit. =P

but as much as this whole thing is rather ridiculous, somehow when a digital camera is placed into my hands, i do the exact same thing. not quite to the cho/mike extent, but i took more pictures in one night than i did the past two years combined. something about it just screams at you to take pictures of anything and everything...think it's also related to the chinese mentality that since it's free you have to take as many as you can...hm...

ok, so whiile i'm on the topic of pictures, might as well throw this one in...grad pictures...
yes i just got my proofs back today...(and NO you may not see them)
but yes, asides from not liking to pose for pictures, and getting two hours of sleep the night before and having 5 of the most boring hours of class prior to the shoot...and them being the worst pictures ever...the guy MADE ME WEAR A HAT!...well the grad cap...but yes, if you know me or have seen me, you will know.....my head does not do hats!!!!
and yes he made me. i couldn't stop him even though i was paying him to take the pictures. argh!
but then again...hehe...upon picking up my proofs today, i noticed that there were 14 proofs/poses...whereas i (being the cheapo i am) only ordered and paid for 10...so excluding the 3 horrible hat ones i still got one bonus...HA! i win afterall!!!...speaking of which i have been recently informed that apparently when a guy and a girl argue, somehow it's like law that the girl always gets to win...wish i had learned that sooner....but yes, that will be a topic for another day...

a 3 hour tutorial at 8am on friday, group meetings, assignment due, the computer lab, pouring rain and no umbrella really doesn't add up to the best day....and i would advise against trying to make mashed potatoes and realizing after you boil the potatoes that you lent your masher to someone else and have to mash 10 potatoes with a fork at 2 am the night before.

took everything in me this morning to get out of bed this morning, but i did, and i am glad.
days like this you just need an extra bit of grace to get through...thank God He has plenty to give.

"But one this I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- phil 3:14-

Ever notice that when you're kinda down and you let yourself wallow in it, and all of a sudden you spiral downwards and then you start thinking that you're world's falling apart and you have no friends? Yes? No?...well sometimes that happens to me, but good thing for me i snap out of it before i let myself get too far and God always shows me how horribly wrong i am.
I HAVE THE BESTEST FRIENDS EVER!!! and just when you feel like talking to one of them, she decides to take a surprise trip from kingston to visit and you run into her in the hall and it just totally makes your day. and you talk and realize that even though you haven't talked in ages, nothing's changed! it's most awesome...i love ya...hehe you know who you are =)

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light my strength my song
This corner stone this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest draught and storm
What height of love what depths of peace
When fears are stilled and strivings cease
My comforter my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand....

No guilt no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to dying breathe
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from his hand
Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand!

"O God, make me one of those rarest of souls who willingly wait for Thy time; My impatient will must be lost in Thine own, And Thy will forever be mine"

I never really knew how hard it would be to pray this prayer...to truly wait on God and trust in His timing. Can't say I know now, but I need to learn...

Pray for me...

wah me AGAIN! i really don't like doing biz...

thinking about something exciting to say...but nope can't think of anything...
life's been just kinda normal...nothing worth really writing about...haven't really done anything exciting or stupid lately (i know it's hard to believe).
it's been mad midterm and deadline week and as much as i hate being in the engineering building, i have spent more out of class hours in there this past week than i have in the past 3 years combined. that building is a sad sad sad place. stay away from it!!!

hehe of course you guys know me well enough to know that when i say "I'm back" it doesn't really mean i'm back back...it's more a "i'm lazy and i'll drop by every now and then"... =P

but i am here today, procrastinating from studying biz...yes i have a biz class...it's the equivalent of first year biz for engineers. sigh can't seem to bring myself to do it...it just doesn't seem applicable to anything else i'm doing...and you have to like read and write and think...and stuff...but then again...i guess the alternative would be starting my FUG calculations for my detailed VCM plant design...hm...maybe income statements aren't that bad...but four hour exams are...
but yeah...hehe...was complaining about biz cases to rosey and how long horrible and retarded they are...till i realized that her being in business means that's like all she does...oops!

I'M BACK!!!...new guestbook and all...and of course i just couldn't resist being the first one to sign my own guestbook. now it's your turn...hehe i know i'm such a loser, but i know you guys still love me...right?...right?...somebody? anybody?

been asked to blog...so...the coolest thing this week...well it's not really "cool"...but i was definitely excited about it...

there was a sale at chapters-indigo.ca, so...i finally ordered and recieved my very own copy of the chemical engineering "bible"...you'll think i'm a geek...but but but but think...all 20 gabazillion pages of the perry's chemical engineers' handbook sitting right here on my desk...ooo the excitement.....ok fine...i am a geek...

ah so guess there haven't been as many fun adventures here at western as promised...

but i will blog today...because today is a sad day.

got an email today. apparently my guestbook will no longer be free...and since i am a poor, cheap uiversity student...i will not pay.
i know my that both my blog and guestbook have long past their glory days...i know, i know, even those weren't all that glorious...
but ah...the few people that cared if i fell into a ditch...all the effort...well more whining and nagging that i put into it to get it to reach 10 pages...feels like a little bit of me is dying...sense a void in my life already...or maybe i'm just hungry.

but yeah last chance...sign the book while you can.

Well for all those who came here because they still had a small bit of faith in my blogging again, I thank you...and for those who come back periodically to use my baby pictures against me, you will be disappointed as the bums who posted them seem to have taken them off their page.

But yes with each school semester comes the insane workload and therefore...much procrastination...I mean well deserved "study breaks" =P
so I am back for now and will continue to ramble until my 491 and 415 projects kill me.
But before I get into all that let me wrap up the summer with some highlights

- my favorite Shum family visiting from HK
- power walking the whole length of the yonge subway line (union to finch)...was during the blackout...no i do not do that for fun
- cutting generous chunks of flesh out of every one of my fingers at work...don't do that for fun either
- growing even older...argh 22
- being able to pay my own tuition (ouch it hurt...stupid 14% tuition increase...FOR A BUILDING I WON'T GET TO USE)
- buying my own laptop...and no you cannot borrow it for your next LAN party!
- proving to pino that i am indeed a worse pool player than he is...and that i can outeat him at swiss chalet
- learning that you can buy anything with food...friends, most appreciated player awards...souls...

So it's been an interesting summer, but as much as I complain about school, I am glad to be back...a sentiment that will probably change not too long from now, when bags under the eye becomes bags that reach chin and all hair gets torn out when mass balances don't work out. But until then stay tuned for Supa's adventures at Western.

things your learn from softball....
got kicked smack in the stomach today...never knew that fat bruises...

So apparently my not blogging is to be blamed for my friends not calling me...even when they come all the way back from Germany (ahem wongs =P). So i guess i will have to update as an attempt to keep my friends.

And as you have all guessed I was in a ditch...a big PVC resin filled ditch...ie i'm working in R&D at a polymer piping factory. which consists of waking up at 5:30 for work, having no life, playing with plastics, and occasionally burning or cutting off portions of my fingers. On the weekends i get big bruises from balls flying at me, ie CCSA softball, and stuff my face silly.

I will stop here for today as I took out a chunk of my finger with a router blade.
injured finger count for the day: 3. Check back next week to see how many fingers I have left.

ok...so i've finally done it...i signed the form, and paid the registration fee...
CCSA softball this summer...with my lack of coordination and athletic ability, this will be interesting...

Personal goals for the season:
- DON'T DIE!!!!

hm inspired by a shopping trip weeks ago with Big Al looking for the sheet music for eternal flame, and the nice warm weather today, I found myself diggin up my "happy" CD's, and singing to the Bangles Greatest Hits...I am such a geek......but then again, the 80's stiletto heel has made a comeback, so maybe I'm not so off...

"Spinster" - by Sylvia Plath

Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds' irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.

By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.

How she longed for winter then! --
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.

But here -- a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley --
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.

And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.

do you sense the bitterness in the poem?

spin·ster
Pronunciation: 'spin(t)-st&r
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : a woman whose occupation is to spin
2 a archaic : an unmarried woman of gentle family b : an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying
3 : a woman who seems unlikely to marry

went to the lawyer's the other day to sign something...it read...CONNIE YUEN SPINSTER.....SPINSTER SPINSTER.....what the heck!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!...SPINSTER
.....i am bitter, very very bitter....

coming back to toronto, that whole SARS things is actually kinda scary...getting kinda paranoid.
got into the elevator yesterday and some chinese guys was standing real close and almost breathing on me, and if i had a surgical mask on me i probably would have put it on.

my mom's trying to ration the chinese food stock we have at home since she refuses to go anywhere chinese. she ran out of rice last week and was forced to go buy rice at lowblaws, she was not pleased with the quality...funny how in london i have more authentic chinese food than she does here.

oh and that whole stay away from large groups of chinese people deal...since that's exactly what chinese churches are, my mom was a little concerned about our going this week.
they made an announcement about it today in service, during which someone started coughing. being paranoid as i am, i immediately looked around to locate the source...and hahahahaha....it came from like the only white guy in our church. just ever so slightly ironic

went to the mall today...yes the mall...again.....didn't find a dress for the banquet, this season everything still has ruffles on it (yeck)and i think it's about time i hit the treadmills and ab workouts again....but besides all that, i couldn't help but notice the number of couples shopping together...in female clothing stores.
i think that guys should be sensitive and caring and all that at times. but however in love you are, following a girl's every step like a dog through Jacob and La Senza just seems a little...uh...whipped? i have absolutely no respect for that.

weather report for today:
mainly cloudy, with light winds...and expected popcorn showers in the chem eng lab

today's advice:
do not try to pneumatically transport popcorn

ah...the sun is shining outside and the weather is nice...i feel the sudden strong urge to go to the mall and drool over that perfect spring wardrobe that i will never ever be able to afford

....i finally reallize why sane people don't stay awake for 64 consecutive hours...i think my body is slowly eating away at itself.

stupid 317...never ever ever again...

Situation: HUGE research/design project due monday...
Problem: Me not done...

a girl in my class got a two week extension by claiming "extreme emotional distress" after a messy break-up situation last week
.
well my computer just decided to freeze on me turning my past 2 hours of work into nothingness...wonder if "extreme psychotic rage" would be a valid reason for an extension...

grrrrrr...stupid noncolorfast dyes...had two new dish towels, one red and one green that i washed with the old ones...
the red one dyed everything else pink (not particularly fond of the color) and the green gave off a more yellowish tone that looks like someone used the towels to mop up pee (eloquently put, i know)...
i guess the only solution is some big time bleaching...or i guess i could take gabe's lead and go monochromatic...
......hm....nah!

well if you've been reading my guestbook and wondering about this whole sweeny todd/lovett thing, i have two things to say to you
1) darn you for not signing it
2) ........MEATPIES!

I know this blog leads you to think otherwise, but we do other things here besides stuffing ourselves silly...really we do...

let me think.....
hm....

......no wait....i lied......

Don’t laugh, but I am going to attempt the sleep early these next couple weeks…the new ACF exec’s been having 7am prayer meetings everyday and 3 ½ hours of sleep really is not enough to survive on.
I know daily 7am prayer meetings…it’s some kinda insanity (in a really good way =P).

It’s unbelievable how much I see these people…it’s more than I see…well…anyone. We meet to pray mornings, and we meet to have planning meetings on Sundays, where we plan for more things that we’ll have to meet to plan. YEAH!

So speaking of planning, our first task is to put together the year-end banquet…we found a nice little restaurant called Bill Bentley’s, and they have a nice little banquet hall that we get to use for our semi-formal at an affordable price…and guess what…it’s a BUFFET!!!!! To name a few of the things on the menu: unlimited roast beef, roast chicken, beef lasagna, potatoes, and apple pie…learning from last year’s mistakes, I say no tight little black dress this year…

You think after all the eating I’ve been doing I’d learn to stay away from all-you-can-eat places…but but but……it’s all you can eat!!!

So yeah there’s this place here in London (and yes we do have places to eat in London) called Archie’s and apparently on Mondays, they have all you can eat fish and chips…imagine…unlimited amounts of crispy, batter fried fish with tasty tarter sauce and all the fries you can possible stuff into your mouth…mmm!

Whenever anyone comes to visit me, there is always one question that they ask… “What’s that noise?” they could be referring to one or more of the following:
1) the constant humming that resonates from my ceiling (I live next to the elevator on the top floor of my building so I’d like to think that it’s the motor rather than the danger that my ceiling is gonna explode and collapse on me in my sleep)
2) the constant beeping that is my out of battery smoke detector (you think if it’s out of batteries it’d eventually beep itself out, but it’s been going on for months now),
3) the sound of the train coming by from the tracks across the parking lot.

I was talking on the phone yesterday, and during our conversation, I turned down my music, and he’s like…whoa, what’s that noise, do you live near heavy machinery or something?
Brian says it's like I'm living on the Enterprise...constant humming and beeping...and sometimes when i forget that i'm baking and things burn, the alarm goes off too

You’d think with all that noise around me I’d go crazy (I know I know i'm crazy as is), but my response to the question is usually…Huh? Noise? What noise? I never really thought it was that bad, I don’t even notice it most days, but apparently it is and I’m just going deaf.

exam on tuesday, but i think grease has blocked off blood flow to my brain...

I had thought the world had given up on me and my blog.
So…what’s new with Connie? Well reading week is over, so I’m back at school to be stressed, depressed and without a life…so not that much.
However, during those few days that I spent away from this gloomy place, I did do something I’ve been wanting to for years…

…unlimited kimchi, pickled turnips…and MEAT!!! For the first time in my life I finally experienced what they call Korean Barbeque…and it’s so gross it’s amazing…grilled beef by the bowlful. I think I ate enough to feed me, and some small country for the next month. After which of course we proceeded to go for dessert.

Other eating exploits in Toronto include pigging out at Congee Wong, Milestones and eating a pot of my mom’s “gnou lam”.
And to keep to the spirit of gluttony after returning to London, we went for a pizza buffet today after church…Just when I think I’ve passed my limit and finally eaten too much, I go out and eat some more.

So there's supafat...and there are ditches, some are bigger, and some are deeper.

well actually i wasn't really in a ditch, but i just decided i'd be a brat and would refuse to blog until someone signed my guestbook without my having to whine about it. but no worries as we've already established, nothing too exciting ever happens in the life of the Supa...so you're not missing too much.

oh the pain...somehow let victor convince me to try snowboarding...been two days and i am still in very very much pain.
i'm sure the time spent on my butt, and face far surpassed that which was spent on my feet. and to make it even more humiliating, there were those little kids snowboarding circles around me.

i think i should now dub myself superfatSNOWball.

ha,,,how did i ever think that would run out of things to whine about...school's starting, tomorrow and with three 8am classes a week, as far as whining goes, the sky's the limit.

ah it's a little late, but happy new year anyways....

ha it's been a year since i started this blog, and the superfatconball is still here...well kinda. brian was just here and wanting to "guest blog" to let those of you who care that i have not fallen into any ditches. so why the prolonged silence you might wonder...well, i am stuck in the middle of a war zone. my mom went back to HK and packed the last 12 years of our life into 108 boxes, most of which are sitting in our little north york condo. if my mom weren't so busy unpacking them, i'd build a fort and invite you guys all over to play....yet instead i lay on the couch all day with the remote and let me brain turn to goo (and matt, i would twiddle my thumbs, but that's just too much work).

well i would like to take a moment to thank everyone who has helped me keep going, esp my (very few) dedicated readers who have stayed with me despite the numerous ditches along the way, my dear family (minus the sisters who schemed against me and posted my baby pictures), everyone who has a link to my blog so that random people think i'm the biggest freak alive before i even meet them (mwuahahahaha!!!)...and of course, last but definitely not least, every single person who has contributed to my guestbook's reaching of its ten pages...i love you...THANK YOU!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!.............. oh poo...now that i've reached 10 pages i will have to find something new to whine about...grrrrrr...

AHA....finally....10 PAGES!!!!!!1

Finals....time to test the limit of how long you can go without doing laundry...

It's been a while since I actually woke up and gave thought to what I was going to wear to school, but yesterday I actually found myself staring at the right corner of my room (which has developed into a waist high pile of clothes) trying to decide what to wear. ...the blue jeans I wore the day before (wear count: 2) or the grey ones from a few days ago (wear count ...let's just leave it at being more than one)...was a toss up with wearing what was cleaner, and having people notice that I am wearing the same thing coz I haven't done laundry and have run out of things to wear...as if thermodynamics isn't enough to think about...

*swoon*...*drool*..


Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

"I have not failed...I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work."

ACK.......6 exams in 7 days...I think I will be the one to not be able to take the pressure and go insane...

"I am an integral, I am an integral"

hmmm was reading Yuling's blog...math and insanity...He'd better be careful, supposedly my first year, there was this one guy who couldn't take the pressure during our the first year Engineering Calc finals. He snapped and went completely psycho...stood up in the middle of it and started chanting that he was an integral...It's supposed to be a true story...so beware!

I think I’m a binge-blogger…I don’t blog for a while (or along time) and then I come back and do a couple entries a day for a few days and then disappear again (into some ditch). Not that I’m saying that now I’m posting this there will be many to follow. But someday soon (not saying when) I will have a little surprise for you all…hehe just a little motivation for you guys to keep checking my site…you won’t know when it’ll come, but one day you’ll click…and voila it’ll be there…hehe

BLEH…intramural volleyball…they fired their coordinator and cheated us two make-up games…grrr. But the good thing is, hehe we won today! YEAH!

So I guess I don’t suck as much as I thought I did…wait who am I kidding...I suck. But I do try though. Our first game I dove for the ball and ended up with a bruise on my knee bigger than my knee.

Got a big bruise today too, and as much as I’d like to say that it’s from my efforts for the team, I find that I cannot lie to you…it wasn’t.
Christina decided to go to MacDonald’s after the game, and since we both needed cash, we pulled up at the CIBC drive-in, and since Christina has issues and can’t pull up the other way around, I got out and walked around the car to save her the trouble.
I put my card in the slot, pushed the little buttons (and deposited two cheques while I was at it), took my receipt, card and cash…whipped around, excited that we were now heading off for food…and rammed right into the side mirror. The whole car shook, I’m sure Chris, Austin, JLo and Aaron’s lives flashed before their eyes, and of course I let out an attempt at a scream (got sick, lost my voice last weekend and according to Justin sound like a cow). So yeah, my “volleyball related” injuries. =P I am so cool it hurts.

See there’s this frosh Josh…and Josh is strange. He wants to start a save the squirrels club, spends way too much time in the library, and somehow convinced me to sign away my soul (long story), but the main thing is that for some unbeknownst reason, he wants to be a FOB. And he takes it very seriously, he sees it his mission to convert all of ACF in a Pinky and the Brain take over the world kinda way, ‘cept there’s only one of him, so he’s in search of a sidekick. It was all good until some big mouth told him that I was from HK…grrrrrrr. I came off that boat a long time ago, and am still trying to forget that I was ever on it. But this guy is persistent...

I had a kinetics lab on Friday before ACF (I’ll complain about that some other day), and had managed to spill chemicals all over my pants and was on my way home to change. Went to the library to say hi to the bums who hang out there coz I just missed my bus…and somehow let Josh convince me to go home and come back a FOB.

So I showed up at UCC with my green plastic framed glasses, pink sweater, and to complete the package, I even whipped out my MD player…What was I thinking?!?!?! Can I say SuperfatFOBball? Someone please stop me before it’s too late……….

Being in the ditch where I was, I failed to notice that my guestbook hit nine pages 4 messages ago...

Ah the joys of complete and utter unproductiveness…

I don’t think I have done so little work since school started…it’s so wrong, it’s smack in the middle of midterms…yet it feels sooooo good (that is of course until I see that stack of work that should have been done).

My goal tonight is to sleep before 12:30 (another first this year since school started) so I will tell you about my adventures another day. Just wanted to let you know I am indeed alive, not in a ditch and still have no life.

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything learned in school."

Believe it or not back in highschool some people thought I was cool. They thought I had a sense of style and dressed well.
I could wear anything and somehow convince people that it was cool. This one time we had an 80's dance and I was making my friend a pair of leg warmers out of and old electric blue sweater. I was trying them on for size (on top of my jeans with my highheels still on...ie I looked really really dumb) and some girl actually walks in gasps and sincerely comments on how cool she thought they are...and now look at me... Can't even remember the last time I combed my hair, put on make-up or actually cared about what I wore....only steps away from being classified a slob (if I have not been already)....well an anal slob that color codes her wardrobe...but a slob none the less.

Ah but there is silver lining around every cloud. Because you see it's all relative. When you look like a bum most the time, the few occasions you actually have to look nice, a small effort yields drastic results. While other girls brush, blowdry, primp, cake their faces with makeup and do whatever else they do to prepare for an event, all I have to do is comb my hair and compared to the way I usually look, people will actually think I look nice.

Slowly but surely...the guestbook has reached 8 pages!

You were expecting me to be typing in non-caps, weren’t you? Well, that would be just too predictable wouldn’t it now?
Muwahahaha the ever changing, ever mysterious ways of the Supa…

Haven’t blogged in a couple days...hmm...so what's been going on in my life here...

I asked Fitz that question the other day, and he tells me about his plans to go to England on exchange next year and how’s he going to Florida for the weekend with his girlfriend…and then he he throws it back at me. “Connie haven’t talked to you in ages, I feel like I’m missing a lot…”

Well, let’s see the most exciting things I’ve done in the last while…I mounted shelves on my walls, got myself a new desk, rearranged my living room and color coded my wardrobe… I AM SUCH A LOSER!!!

And it doesn’t help that every time I talk to him I’m either studying, doing a lab report or paper or something of that sort. From the impression that he gets from me, he things I go to some kinda nerd school.
HA! Western a nerd school!?!??!? Rrrrrrrright…. Was just in the cafeteria today listening to someone tell me about a 700 person party his frat had and how they had kegs of beer hanging off the roof or something.

…Hmm should blue and white striped shirt…should that go in the blue section or the white section…

IF I GOT FAT...WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME???

...the more important thing is what would you call me if i got fatter? what would the next step up be from SUPERfat?

there is something about me that just screams out FOOOD! two years ago gabe got me an ice cream scoop for christmas (he said he saw it and thought it was me)...and this year for my bday matt mark and lyds got me one...and then just this week...hehe...amy gets me the ultimate gift...an ice cream maker. it's like the coolest thing ever....MAYBE it'll redeem her for that thing she pulled with my kid pics.

i was looking at ice cream recipes...they require WHOLE milk and HEAVY cream, not to count sugar, and other things you put in it....which spell only one thing really...F.A.T.

i'll really be living up to this nickname of mine...that is if i don't surpass it and become some other more extreme form of fatness.

yeah yeah yeah...everyone's saying what a cute kid i was...don't know what happened...so don't ask!!

all rage and thoughts of killing my sisters aside (we did cain and abel today in sunday school...sibling killers don't end well)...i am at a lost for words. i think if the kid wasn't me i might have said "aw how cute"...cept it is me and the only thought that comes to me is...man! i had a big head...

Hehe.. here are some pictures that our aunt sent to us of Superfat when she was still young and cute. =p enjoy them while you can ( don't know if she will take them down) - Yuen sisters =)


Our aunt was teaching Connie to be a ballerina... hmm... Yes attempts to be graceful


Hmm what's the smell? Supa??!?!?









Cute isn't she?


What's in Supa mouth?? check to see what is behind us. Yes Supa eats EVERYTHING!!!






Pictures from Edmonton, when diversity meant Supa and Amy were around...